What About God Makes You Uncomfortable?

Someone once offered me advice to get my weblog noticed. "All you have to do," they said, "is find some popular blogs like yours and start leaving good comments."

Whether or not they gave me good advice, I don't follow it very well. I think I need to find those weblogs first. I keep telling myself the readers of popular weblogs want funny or serious content, and I don't always feel confident about my writing either way.

Also, I don't like most of the weblogs I read. Maybe that shouldn't stop me, but it does.

Among all the boring words people put on the internet, I do know where to find some great writing. I've particularly loved Stuff Christians Like ever since I first read it in 2008. And while some people don't appreciate Jon's "Serious Wednesday" posts, I relate to those the most.

Today, he wrote about our fear of God making us miserable. I thought you might like to read it, since it spoke to some of my battle with anxiety in a way. I'm not so much worried about God sending my wife and I far off to a place we don't want to go, but I have felt Him pointing me in uncomfortable directions.

I also know scripture constantly tells us we have nothing to fear if we put our trust in God. Jesus told us to be anxious for nothing. Paul asked the church what they had to fear if God had their well-being in mind. This, by the way, was a rhetorical question. Paul had a pretty good handle on rhetoric.

So what if you don't know how you'll find the time or money to go where He's called you?

So what if you feel like God wants you to do your part in reconciling a horrible relationship?

So what if you don't feel comfortable with giving up a luxury or convenience in order to help someone?

God's trustworthy. He wants us to find our happiness, and that happiness is in what He wants.

What about God makes you feel uncomfortable?

Could You See If You Were Going Blind? - Why Christians Need Vision.

Who else out there loves Spotify? If you haven't heard about it yet, it's like Netflix for music. I can search for a whole album, drag it into one of my many well-named playlists, and listen. And if that wasn't neat enough, I can share tracks with people, post a song on my Facebook wall, and check out what music my friends have played recently. I haven't been this excited since Audio Galaxy.

But sometimes, I don't want people to know when I listen to some tracks. Apparently, you can make some playlists private, but I haven't yet seen that completely work. More than one person has already made mention of all the Christina Aguilera I had playing despite my private setting. So instead of relying completely on Spotify for my nostalgia, I've begun to listen to the radio. Once in a while, I'll hear some 90's radio rock and momentarily fall back in love with the format.

I'm sorry if this seems like it's going nowhere, but I felt compelled to explain how it was I found myself listening to Korn.

So, I was twelve years old when Korn put out their first record. If you couple my youth with an overwhelming need for acceptance, then maybe you will see why I listened to that album when it first came out. And dang it, when I heard that opening chord in "Blind" earlier this week while driving home from work, I felt completely exposed.  I felt like the radio had pulled out the home videos so I could relive each and every awkward phase.

I made it about halfway through the song and shut it off so I could sing Elvis Costello to myself (Radio Radio, of course). But before I had quit torturing myself, I heard the tagline of the song. "I can see, I can see I'm going blind." "Now that's funny," I thought. "Are people aware when they're losing their eyesight?" And once I thought about eyesight, I thought about vision. And then came the post.

Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, but happy is he who keeps the law." In this verse, the law, or Bible, has a link with vision. I wonder if Christians can read the Bible without seeing God's overall purpose in it and fail to see the vision He has for us. I wonder if this was the situation in Judges 21:25. "In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes."

The people believed in God. They offered Him sacrifices. They had intentions to obey Him. But they were unrestrained. All of the belief and good intentions didn't stop the people from making a bizarre deal with the tribe of Benjamin. I won't get into it, but if you read that passage for yourself, just think about Seven Brides For Seven Brothers. Weird.

This has me asking myself a lot of questions. What is God's vision for my life? What is God's vision for the church? What is God doing in my city? I think I need to know the answers to these questions. I want my decisions to lead to results, and I want those results to help move myself and other people to where God wants us.

Encouraging Endurance - Or, avoiding Ishmaels.

A pastor I know in Michigan once told me that he sat in the front row of his own sermons. My weblog’s description says that I write about what God teaches me through prayer. Very often, I feel like I’m exposing my own life in Jesus rather than teaching others how to live. For example, Ribs, Patience, and Trust. So I’m going to get a little personal here.

I believe that God has made several promises for my life. I’ve written all of them down and regularly read through them as I pray. He has fulfilled some of them and this encourages me to keep asking for the others. Even so, I have yet to see the other promises fulfilled. Sometimes, as I wait, I become frustrated and even despair. “Will these ever happen?” When I talk about it with other believers, I feel silly because I know in my heart God is faithful. The knowledge of God’s faithfulness, though, doesn’t necessarily make me feel better.

Certainly, you all have experienced this feeling. It’s easy to forget we serve an infinite God who lives outside of time, who created time and has sovereign control over it. Spiritually, we can grow weary in trusting and waiting. In that weariness, I have looked for distractions. Then the distractions become idols as I seek comfort from the frustration. God told me those promises to give me hope for things to come and I believe this is why the writer of Hebrews encouraged believers to endure in their waiting. Hebrews 10:36, “For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” (NASB)

In The CJB (Complete Jewish Bible) translation, the word “trust” substitutes for the word “faith”. Trust implies that a person’s life demonstrates their belief in the truth. They have a confidence in what they know. Hebrews 11:1 describes, “Trusting is being confident of what we hope for, convinced about things we do not see.” The following verses describe how different men in the Old Testament trusted God’s promises and were called righteous. This lifestyle is so important, the writer says in verse 6, “And without trusting, it is impossible to be well pleasing to God, because whoever approaches him must trust that he does exist and that he becomes a Rewarder to those who seek him out.”

Of all the people mentioned in this passage, I like the one about Abraham best. Hebrews 11:11, “By trusting, he received potency to father a child, even when he was past the age for it, as was Sarah herself; because he regarded the One who had made the promise as trustworthy.” One could read this verse and think, “Yeah, Abraham. He must have really trusted God with the promise of a son.” But even Abraham and Sarah got tired of waiting at one point. In Genesis 16, Sarah pimps her Egyptian slave-girl out to her husband so they can have a child somehow, anyhow. Abraham doesn’t seem to put up much of a fight, which I find interesting.

So he has sex with his wife’s slave. Of course, this attempt to speed along God’s promise through their own wisdom turned ugly. Hagar, the slave-girl, becomes pregnant with a son named Ishmael. Only then does Sarah regret her actions. She complains to Abraham, who shrugs his shoulders and denies any responsibility in the matter. Sarah quickly comes to hate Hagar, treating her “so harshly that she ran away”. Craig Brown, pastor of City Church in East Nashville, noted how Exodus uses the same word for harsh treatment to describe Egypt’s cruel abuse of the Hebrew slaves. Sarah didn’t just say mean words and give cold looks. This wasn’t mere gossip with the other slaves to vilify Hagar. She beat the shit out of this poor woman, possibly to a point near death.

Looking at the story of Hagar this way, we might think differently of this righteous man of faith who’s trust stood as a testament in Hebrews 11. Instead of judging Abraham, though, we need to recognize this as a cautionary tale of what can happen when we fail to endure. It would do me well to remember what can happen when I try to take matters in my own hands because I’m frustrated and impatient.

When God appears to Abraham in chapter 17, he falls on his face in repentance. In no passage do I see where God punished Abraham for his sin (unless you consider adult circumcision punishment). What does God do? He repeats His promises. He encouraged Abraham to trust His promise and wait for the miracle.

In light of this, we can read that famous passage in Hebrews 12:1-4 with some new perspective. “So then, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (referring to the people spoken of in chapter 11), let us, too, put aside every impediment – that is, the sin which easily hampers our forward movement – and keep running with endurance in the contest set before us, looking away to the Initiator and Completer of that trusting, Jesus – who in exchange for obtaining the joy set before him (or promised to Him), endured execution on a cross as a criminal, scorning the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Yes, think about him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you won’t grow tired or become despondent. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in the contest against sin.”

Jesus, as our example, endured death on the cross because of God’s promises. He knew of the promises in the Old Testament where God would bring salvation through His Son, the Messiah. He repeatedly told His disciples that He had to suffer and die so God might fulfill these promises. During the beatings, mockery, unjust trials, shame, and crucifixion, Jesus could have called down angels and had them slaughter every offender. Yet He obediently endured and continued to trust the Father through it all.

Among the many things I believe God wants to give me, He has promised me a wife and children. A few years ago, I “grew tired and became despondent”. It pains me to say it, but I picked someone who I figured would say yes. We dated, got engaged, and I went on my merry way toward sinful misery. God, in His mercy, convicted me and I ended the relationship. Since then, I’ve continued on in trust, allowing Him to direct my steps toward a wife. But the path doesn’t always make sense and I must admit that I find myself again growing tired. I’m saying this partially to let you know of my own journey in trusting God. I’m also saying this because I need to sit in the front row of my own sermon. Abraham was 100 years old when God gave him Isaac as a son. I don’t think I’ll have to wait that long for God’s promise in my life, but shouldn’t I trust Him as if I did? Do I ever have a right to let doubt and weariness justify my own Ishmaels?

As an encouragement, I’ll end with James 1:2-4. “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (NASB) God uses hard times like these because it produces endurance. It makes us stronger, more able to handle bigger promises and the challenges involved. James tells us that endurance through these struggles will come to our good. In them, we will lack nothing.

Worthiness and Reward - Avoiding younger-brother-syndrome.

My friend Ken asked an old girlfriend and I the question, “Do you think you’re a good person?” I said, “Yes.” She hesitated before replying, “Well, it all depends.”

Ken asked me to explain my answer. I shrugged my shoulders and said matter-of-factly, “The Bible says I have died and risen in Christ, that I am hidden in Him. So God sees me as perfect and blameless. I’m good because Jesus is good.” Ken and his wife smiled and showed my girlfriend and I how the Bible explains Christ’s righteousness is given to us when we accept Him. My girlfriend got upset at this and went into a fury about how she knew her own sin and she didn’t think of herself as very good “on those days.” Then she turned to me, “I think you know it, too. You always have the right answer that’ll make everyone happy. You’re just a people pleaser.” We didn’t last much longer as a couple. Even so, she was partially correct at the time.

During that conversation with Ken, I truly believed what I said. I still do. I am not good on my own. But Jesus is good and I am in Jesus. He calls me good, so I am good. However, my attitude sometimes drifts from Christ’s righteousness to self-righteousness. Many of you have heard stories of God leading me to do strange acts of obedience that later become testimony of His goodness. After a certain time of service, I wonder when God will give me the big rewards. You know, a wife and family, a reliable car, or a best-selling book. That sort of thing. “If I do a good job for the Lord,” I’ll think, “then I should get the blessings I want.” It’s like I’m trying to do and say the right things to make God happy with me forgetting He is already pleased with me because of Jesus.

In Luke 15:11-31, Jesus tells a story. “A man had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.”’ So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.

“Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours.’”

The first son, like my ex-girlfriend, knew how wretched he had been. He didn’t feel worthy to have the title of “Son” again. Whether she meant it this way or not, my Ex had essentially said the same thing. “I’m not good enough for Jesus to give me Grace, so I’m going to base my goodness on my merit and only accept His forgiveness.” She saw herself as a sinner-turned-servant instead of God’s princess.

On the other hand, there are times I pout because I don’t immediately experience all of the blessings I expect God to give His hard-working son. I’ll compare my experiences of blessings with others and begin to think somehow I’ve been snubbed. I’m not always in that state of mind, I’m just saying it happens.

People have a tendency to pick on the older son. What a crybaby, right? Can’t he be happy for other people? And we’re right to give this brother a hard time. However, we overlook the fact that the younger brother also had an incorrect view of his relationship with the father. He wanted to work for dad as a servant but didn’t get that far in his rehearsed apology. He said, “I’m not worthy to be called your son.” Then the father interrupted with gifts and joy.

The older son had a twisted sense of entitlement as if his work and obedience warranted blessings as wages. But the father told him, “No, everything of mine was always yours. What’s more, you were never apart from your father.”

Both sons needed the father to tell them, “You’re not my servant, you’re my son. You don’t have to earn my favor because you’re my son.” Does that mean the younger son wouldn’t maybe help dad clean up after the feast? Of course he would, sons do that to honor their fathers. Did the older son never see blessings and gifts from dad? He probably understood that he could ask for those blessings instead of passively waiting for them. Dad obviously liked blessing his kids.

I felt compelled to tell you this so that you might avoid two traps of the enemy. First, for the older-brother-club, be careful that you don’t worship and obey God for what He might give you. Worship and obey God because of who He is. The single greatest blessing He gave was the opportunity of a personal, intimate relationship with Him through the death and resurrection of Jesus. Scripture says in Galatians 3:26, “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” As sons, we enjoy all of the Father’s benefits. A servant may have to earn favor, but sons have it as members of the family. “You are with me, and all that is mine is yours.”

For people suffering from younger-brother-syndrome, what would you have thought if the prodigal son insisted on taking the role of a servant and turned down all of the gifts the father gave? You’d call him an idiot. I think the father would have felt grievously wounded. Such a scenario wouldn’t have been an example of righteousness, but pride and stubbornness. When the younger son asked for his inheritance, this communicated that he wished his dad would just die and give him the money. This was intentional estrangement. If the son came back as a servant, he may have admitted his sin, but there would be no healing of the father/son relationship and the distance between them would still exist. This wouldn’t be a story of a homecoming but a boy continuing to demonstrate foolishness.

My second point is this. Younger-brother-syndrome can make a person accept a false attitude of unworthiness that despises the blessings of the God. James 1:17 says, “Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father,” and the rest of the Bible says you can’t earn any of them. But because of Jesus taking the penalty for the sin in your life, you are free to receive every one of those gifts.

So let God bless you. Don’t feel bad about it. And don’t, under any circumstances, sulk at your own party.

Humility - Or how I got over myself and learned to love the youth group

Some days, I wonder why people in my church encouraged me to become a youth leader. I didn’t want to do it at first. After praying about it, though, I felt that God wanted me to take this responsibility. For my first few months on the team, I felt horrendously uncomfortable. I thought, “don’t these people realize I might corrupt their children?” One of the kids came to church wearing a Slipknot hoodie and I made him a mix of Darkest Hour songs because they’re a better band. It didn’t occur to me until later that his mom might not be cool with me giving him that sort of music. Then again, she might think nothing of it. The point is, I don’t know how I’m supposed to behave around people ages 12-18.

Two weeks ago, I led my first discussion at a youth meeting. The topic of the day was humility. “Am I really qualified to lead this discussion?” I thought. “Because I think I’m pretty awesome and that seems to disqualify me outright.” As I prepared my questions for the night, I asked God for help. “I don’t know what to say to them about humility. It’s something we’re told to do but nobody defines how to be humble. Like, is it really only the absence of pride?”

Thankfully, God answered.

Humility first begins with understanding our proper place in creation. God is the ultimate, perfect, and self-sufficient being. We are His creation, given dignity because we are made in His image. Even though He gave man authority in nature (Gen. 1:28-30), man’s authority still came from and was accountable to God. We can see this in how He set boundaries of right and wrong for man. In every covenant that God made with man, God set the terms without negotiation. I’ve told people that the true sin of Adam and Eve came from the lie that they might be “like God” (Gen. 3:5). They wanted to define good and evil for themselves, to have a say in what God determined. The world has suffered the consequences ever since.

As a child, I often thought about the paradox that pride was sin and yet parents could still be proud of their children. Pride was wrong, but I could still take pride in doing well in school. In order to stop thinking about it, I started to compartmentalize good pride from bad pride, mixing the black and white together in a comfortable grey. Without knowing it, my elementary mind had begun to accept Hegelian synthesis as a reasonable answer. It may have given me an excuse to stop defining my terms, but it also left me with undefined words. Pride and humility had no true meaning except what I declared based on my perception. The only reason I didn’t see my attitude as relativistic was because other people often agreed with my standards.

But that Sunday night before the youth meeting, God pointed me to a teaching by Terry Virgo. In the final section of a four part series, Virgo talked about false humility. Exodus 2:11-14 tells the first story of Moses as an adult. “Now it came about in those days, when Moses had grown up, that he went out to his brethren and looked on their hard labors; and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brethren. So he looked this way and that, and when he saw there was no one around, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. He went out the next day, and behold, two Hebrews were fighting with each other; and he said to the offender, ‘Why are you striking your companion?’ But he said, ‘Who made you a prince or a judge over us? Are you intending to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?’ Then Moses was afraid and said, ‘Surely the matter has become known.’”

Think about this. Moses was a prince of Egypt, a powerful nation who considered its pharaoh as a god. It’s possible that Moses went down among the Hebrews because he wanted to identify with his own people. But to do that, he may have gone undercover. Why else would the one Hebrew say, “Who made you a prince or a judge over us?” If Moses came in his royal clothes, obviously a prince of Egypt, this question would make no sense coming from a slave. When he killed the Egyptian, it seems Moses wanted to act as a protector or deliverer for his people. But again, the question of “Who made you…” implies a kind of contempt. As if to say, “Some hero you are. You’re just a killer.”

Pharaoh learns of the murder and seeks to kill Moses, but Moses runs away to the land of Midian and becomes a shepherd. Children were shepherds. That’s like a man opening a lemonade stand for forty years. Then one day, Moses sees a bush in flames. That’s not so strange, considering the desert sun sometimes causes dry plants to burn. But these flames didn’t consume the bush. After forty years of drudgery, you’d pay attention to little things like that. Of course, as the story goes, God speaks to Moses and tells him in Exodus 3:10, “Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring My people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.”

Hey Moses! You wanted to be a hero to your people. Now’s your chance. But Moses says, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” This response echoes what the slave told Moses before he fled Egypt. “Who do you think you are?” It seems that Moses has answered with, “Nobody.” Moses spends so much time telling God that he’s the wrong man for the job he forgets that God is offering the fulfillment of the dream. He also misses the part in Exodus 3:8 where God says, “I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians”. God’s doing the work, Moses only has to go and send the message. Instead, Moses protests and God gets pissed.

At first glance, it may seem that Moses displayed humility in his question, “Who am I?” But Virgo points out that this humility was a cover for disobedience. In many ways, it sounds like the lie Adam and Eve bought in Eden. What Moses really meant was, “I know better, God. I can determine between right and wrong just like you and I say you’ve got the wrong guy. I don’t want to do this.” Moses didn’t properly recognize God’s supremacy and his own place in creation. False humility is really a passive aggressive pride. It’s sin.

Now let’s look at Jesus. You may see some parallels with the story of Moses. God the son came down to earth and became human to act as our deliverer. Like the quarrelsome slave, most people didn’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah and treated him with contempt. But when God told Jesus to go to the cross and offer salvation to those enslaved in sin, He went in obedience. Of course it was agonizing. Of course it was humiliating. But then Jesus got up. As one writer put it, “He arose victorious”. God won and got the glory.

This leads me to believe that true humility comes out of obedience, where we recognize God’s authority and submit to it. That doesn’t mean we reject God’s pleasure in us, or like Moses try to diminish our calling. We can be proud when it comes to doing what God wants. Sometimes dad lets us hold the flashlight while he works on the car. Even though he’s doing all the work, don’t you feel awesome having taken part in the job?

So maybe I shouldn’t worry about my “qualifications” as a youth leader. Maybe I should be happy that I’m doing what God wants and trust that He picked the right man. It sure makes Sunday night more fun when I’m not so self-focused.