Friday, February 17, 2012

The Politics Of Fame And Glory - How I realized my self-righteousness was driven by a fear.

If you've read this weblog for the past few months, you might know that I play in a band called the Summer Country. I feel comfortable talking to you about this because there are only, like, twenty of you, and half of you share my last name.

In the past, I've written about false humility and musicians getting more credit than they deserve. I haven't forgotten. Between those two ideas, I live in tension. I don't think I should receive the adoration all who see me, but I don't think I suck either.

So far, this tension has led me to become a terrible self-promoter. I may have mentioned that before, too. Whenever I'm challenged to do something more with the music, I quote Proverbs 27:2. "Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips." Not only is that simply great advice on how to keep yourself from arrogance, it ends the discussion with most people. And it's a discussion I don't like to have with them.

Tonight I asked myself why. Why don't I want to talk about what I do? Why don't I want to listen to the people telling me I should learn how to promote myself?

It took less than a minute to realize it's because I'm afraid of my image. Isn't that dumb? I rail against self-promotion because I don't like the idea of selling myself. The underlying, unspoken motivation comes from living in Nashville and hating how other people sound when they constantly self-promote. And I don't want to sound like those guys. But isn't that just as bad? Aren't we all trying to look cool, even if we have different reasons?

I'd be selfish either way. I don't know how to change it just yet, but I realize something does have to change.

Unless you have some great advice for my situation, I'll finish today's post with a song I wrote. I don't want to be famous, but I want people to listen.

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