I began my attendance at Calvin College in August of 2001. It was, as I called it, the semester of hell. Aside from your usual adolescent frustration dealing with the major life transition of leaving home and starting college, a few airplanes hit some important buildings, Calvin experienced a bomb threat, my grandfather died, and I became physically sick from anxiety. I’m 6 ft. 2 in. tall and I dropped to 126 lbs. That’s barely enough weight to stretch over the height.
When I went home for winter break, I sat with my parents in our living room and finally told them about my struggles. My father heard all about papers and tests and girls and loneliness and stress. After I finished, he said, “There’s something I need to tell you. The company isn’t doing well.” He then went on to tell me how financial difficulties forced the board to remove him as their CEO.
I soon learned that Calvin didn’t necessarily require payment for the semester before classes began. Instead, they let you attend and then required payment at the end of the semester. My family didn’t want to deal with school loans. At the time, I thought, why would we? Dad had a good job and helped my older brothers through school. We had enough to pay for the first semester of school but there were no guarantees for the spring.
Mom and dad insisted that I return to finish the school year, assuring me that we would make it work. Something in me knew it wouldn’t last. I mean, my parents prayed about sending back to school and felt certain God wanted me to go, but I didn’t feel comfortable with the possibility of debt. When credit card applications came in the mail or representatives vied for my attention at booths on campus, I ignored them. No way, you’re not going to put me in debt when I only work a part-time job. But society demanded I get an education for a job that paid well enough to eventually cover my oncoming school debt.
At the end of the 2002 spring semester, I got a few notices from the school about the money I owed. It came to something like $13,000 for the semester. As a 19-year-old kid, the number gave me a stomachache. Dad held the school off until a man donated the money we needed to pay the remainder.
Again, I told my parents that I was willing to drop out and work, or maybe attend the Community College. They prayed about it and felt that I should go back to Calvin. Dad hadn’t yet found steady work and this time there was no angel donor. The bill came like death during exam week. I managed to live on campus and “work” for one of the professors during the January term. The housing department busted me for living on campus without any registered classes. Eventually, they showed me the door.
My grades hadn’t suffered. Nobody ever had to discipline me for bad behavior. I was a dorm leader and helped lead a Bible study. But schools get pissed when you don’t pay them. I spent the next few days packing my room and explaining to the other dorm leaders what had happened. As friends showed up on campus to help me move, the boys in my dorm said their goodbyes. One kid physically blocked the door. “You can’t leave,” he said. I laughed at the melodrama but the scene still stung.
About nine months later, I sat in my basement watching the 2003 World Series when my mother handed me the phone. A man asked if I was Isaiah. He then began an assault of verbal abuse asking me why I hadn’t paid Calvin for my last semester. Admittedly naïve, I tried explaining myself. The collector ridiculed me and piled on the shame. Mom, standing by, realized what was going on and ran upstairs to get dad. He took the phone and left the room.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “If I knew who was calling you, I would have given it to your father first.” At the time, I was booking a tour for my band and she assumed a venue had called to confirm a date.
A form of hate bloomed inside of me. Who was that guy? What crime had I committed? People ran into financial problems like this all the time. The Kallmans weren’t deadbeats. We’d find a way to pay eventually.
When I last talked to a collector in December of 2007, the late fees and “miscellaneous charges” had pushed $13,000 up past $18,000. By then, I had moved to Nashville and wanted to live responsibly. So of course, I tried to reason with another collector. I gave her the estimated figures of monthly income to monthly expenses, which were nearly the same number, and asked if we could agree on some sort of payment plan.
The woman came back after talking to a shadowy “supervisor” and offered three different options. I laughed aloud into the phone when she told me these options. “Even if I were to sell everything I have tomorrow, I couldn’t make lowest down payment.” I told her I could sacrifice here and there to give twenty dollars a month until I got a steady job and increase my payments with the promise that they would halt any further fees. She refused. I told her I’d get counsel before making a decision. In the back of my mind, I knew those charges and fees were piling up as I waited for the situation to turn.
At this time, I’m still waiting for it to turn. But what can I do? They’ve refused my offer to chip away at the debt because, according to people like Elizabeth Warren of Harvard Law, they will make more money in the end if I’m in debt to them forever.
Please understand me, I don’t want to shame my old college. I know that they want to run the school well and pay their staff. A few Isaiah Kallmans could make it hard for them to function financially. I get that. What hurt was the thought, “These people are a part of the church and they’re coming after me!” Something felt so wrong about this. Like, things shouldn’t work this way. And yet, this is business as usual everywhere.
The Outcry
There’s something else I want you to understand. I’m not poor. Sure, I live paycheck-to-paycheck and I only started intentionally saving money at the age of 26. That’s kind of dumb. But I’m not poor.
My friend Josh told me about conversations he would overhear at Skelletones. These punk kids would always talk about how poor they were. They would sew patches on their clothes with dental floss and talk about how they needed to be resourceful just to make ends meet. Of course, they never thought about how dental floss costs about as much as your typical sewing kit but with less thread.
Then, these kids would talk about getting drunk on forties and how they could score cheap drugs. A lot of these kids weren’t living on the street. Some of them had families or other people who would take care of them. None of them were starving. They chose this life. Josh was so upset by this he designed a T-shirt with a picture of a punk holding a forty and a caption reading “Broke Is the New Poor”.
I became friends with the drummer of a punk band in Nashville while they recorded an album at the old Make Your Own Records house. He recently told me about the struggles he had with old credit card mistakes. “I was young and dumb,” he said. “I got my card and thought, ‘Sweet! I’ll get a Macbook! Dad’s recliner is worn out. I’ll buy him a new one!’ I’m still dealing with that stuff.” This happened years ago, but it still haunts him. He and his wife have begun to cut down on their expenses in hopes they will slowly pay off a little more each month. It’s hard, but he wants to live righteously in his finances.
That’s why I’m telling you, I’m not poor. At this moment, I’m just living on little money. My situation is temporary. Things will get better. I also want to live righteously in my finances and I know God will continue to bless me.
Maybe I’m getting that right, but I also must take care not to condemn all the people who got themselves in over their heads. Maybe I don’t have as much school debt as, say, a law student, but I also don’t have a degree. And their job will eventually pay off the loans. I may not have credit card debt, but I also never built my credit. As a no-credit non-student, it could be far more difficult for me to get a car or home unless my situation changes.
I had to keep humility in mind the first few times I read Nehemiah 5:1-5.
“Now there was a great outcry of the people and of their wives against their Jewish brothers. For there were those who said, ‘We, our sons and our daughters are many; therefore let us get grain that we may eat and live.’ There were others who said, ‘We are mortgaging our fields, our vineyards and our houses that we might get grain because of the famine.’ Also there were those who said, ‘We have borrowed money for the king's tax on our fields and our vineyards. Now our flesh is like the flesh of our brothers, our children like their children. Yet behold, we are forcing our sons and our daughters to be slaves, and some of our daughters are forced into bondage already, and we are helpless because our fields and vineyards belong to others.’”
The outcry in verse 2 could at first sound like a socialistic demand. “Why do the rich Jews have more money while we’re starving? It’s not fair!” But this was not a tantrum. This outcry came from true desperation. Think of this, someone is so poor that they get a credit card with a 14% interest rate just to buy their basic groceries. Bread, milk, maybe some toilet paper. Real necessities.
People were even going into debt just to pay their taxes. During a time of famine. So now imagine using that same 14% credit card to pay a 12% State Tax. The immediate problem isn’t solved, just aggravated and postponed.
Others were mortgaging their homes and land. As a man who well knew scripture, Nehemiah would have been familiar with the laws in Leviticus. God had given the Jewish people rules regarding the sale of land. Leviticus 25 made it clear, the land did not belong to the people but to God. He wanted them to steward it well and handle their real estate in a way that set them apart and glorified Him.
If a person could not financially support himself, he could temporarily sell the land. Then it was the responsibility of a relative to buy back the land so it stayed in the family. In the event that no kinsman could do this, the buyer was obliged to sell the land back to its original owner only. If the seller could not pay off his debt within fifty years, God had appointed a “year of Jubilee” where all debts were canceled and properties returned. God took this so seriously that when the kings neglected the laws surrounding Jubilee at the time of Jeremiah, the prophet foretold of Jerusalem’s coming destruction and their inevitable exile.
Some experienced such financial hardship that they even sold their children as slaves to pay the high interest exacted by their fellow Jews. This went directly against Leviticus 25:39-41. “If a countryman of yours becomes so poor with regard to you that he sells himself to you, you shall not subject him to a slave’s service. He shall be with you as a hired man, as if he were a sojourner; he shall serve with you until the year of jubilee. He shall then go out from you, he and his sons with him, and shall go back to his family, that he may return to the property of his forefathers.” God meant for this to go against the norm of common business practices as a reminder of Israel’s freedom from slavery in Egypt. Not only as a reminder to themselves, but as a testimony to the rest of the world.
The Response
The point was not “We shouldn’t have rich people and poor people. Everyone should be equal.” God had ways for poor people to work and survive (Leviticus 19:9-10) and didn’t demand sacrifices beyond their means (Leviticus 14:21). These rules were put in place to make sure people used their wealth with compassion, acting honestly and righteously with what God had given them. Leviticus 19:15 made it clear to leaders like Nehemiah, “You shall do no injustice in judgment; you shall not be partial to the poor nor defer to the great, but you are to judge your neighbor fairly.”
Clearly, the wealthy Jews had acted unrighteously, ignoring God’s law and financially cannibalizing their own people for profit. Nehemiah realized the gravity of this injustice. I love Nehemiah’s emotional honesty in 5:6, “Then I was very angry when I had heard their outcry and these words.” It’s okay to get ticked at this sort of thing. I spent a summer studying debt, both personal and national, and I got downright pissed. Most people are in debt and creditors want it to stay that way.
Instead of acting out on his emotion, though, Nehemiah took time to consider the matter.
“I consulted with myself and contended with the nobles and the rulers and said to them, ‘You are exacting usury, each from his brother!’ Therefore, I held a great assembly against them. I said to them, ‘We according to our ability have redeemed our Jewish brothers who were sold to the nations; now would you even sell your brothers that they may be sold to us?’ Then they were silent and could not find a word to say. Again I said, ‘The thing which you are doing is not good; should you not walk in the fear of our God because of the reproach of the nations, our enemies? And likewise I, my brothers and my servants are lending them money and grain. Please, let us leave off this usury. Please, give back to them this very day their fields, their vineyards, their olive groves and their houses, also the hundredth part of the money and of the grain, the new wine and the oil that you are exacting from them.’” (Nehemiah 5:7-11)
A few things are very significant about Nehemiah’s response. First, and most notably, Nehemiah repents of his own sin. It would have been too easy for him, in his anger, to blame the rich for their sin. Having removed the plank from his eye, he could see clearly and address the speck in theirs.
This probably inspired the second point in his response. He bought back those sold into slavery. If he bore the same guilt, that would explain his desire to set an example of financial repentance. It does no good to say sorry without demonstrating a change of heart.
Third, Nehemiah presents an opportunity for the men assembled to follow his example. He pleads with them to cancel the debts and return the property. I believe he did this in part to address one of the three areas of brokenness in Jerusalem. The walls and gates weren’t the only parts of the city in disrepair. Hanani had first told Nehemiah all the way back in chapter 1 how the people were held in contempt. By not following the law of God, which they called their own, meant to set them apart, they invited the criticism they found so disheartening.
What follows absolutely amazed me when I realized its significance. When reading verse 8 of chapter 5, one could compare the people to those assembled on Mount Carmel in 1Kings 18 when Elijah challenges the people to choose between God and Baal. Would they choose God or the promise of wealth and prosperity? After Nehemiah’s appeal, the men promise to return the property without further payment or interest. They also want to repent financially. The priests come in as witnesses of this promise and stand as accountability.
In verse 13, Nehemiah makes the oath, “I also shook out the front of my garment and said, ‘Thus may God shake out every man from his house and from his possessions who does not fulfill this promise; even thus may he be shaken out and emptied.’ And all the assembly said, ‘Amen!’ And they praised the LORD. Then the people did according to this promise.”
This oath was serious business. Any man’s failure to keep his promise would result in the loss of all his wealth. Shaken empty. The very thing they tried to build through evil would crumble. And please note that their promise to cancel the debts was monumental. Consider a similar situation today. What if all the banks and credit card companies were to say, “We’ve bled the American people nearly dry. We’re going to forgive all the debts and start over.” As of 2008, that would mean $13.8 trillion dollars of household debt erased. But the casual reader could easily pass over the end of Nehemiah 5:13. The people actually fulfilled their promise.
The New Generosity
True repentance isn’t a simple “I’m sorry”. It requires a change of heart, a dedicated difference in thinking. Where Nehemiah once financially oppressed the poor along with the wealthy Jews, now he operates in a lifestyle of generosity and hospitality. Nehemiah 5:14-16 reads,
“Moreover, from the day that I was appointed to be their governor in the land of Judah, from the twentieth year to the thirty-second year of King Artaxerxes, for twelve years, neither I nor my kinsmen have eaten the governor's food allowance. But the former governors who were before me laid burdens on the people and took from them bread and wine besides forty shekels of silver; even their servants domineered the people. But I did not do so because of the fear of God. I also applied myself to the work on this wall; we did not buy any land, and all my servants were gathered there for the work.”
In these three verses, Nehemiah describes very countercultural attitudes and practices. First, he did not take advantage of the living expenses guaranteed to the Governor and his staff. They denied this benefit to relieve the people of tax burdens. Previous rulers had extorted the people to such poverty that even their servants were better off than the common free man.
Second, it seems the position of governor would have allowed Nehemiah a life of comfort and ease. Instead, he and his staff dedicated themselves to working alongside the people in their effort to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. This was not merely delegated responsibility. He didn’t take on a series of program development and reform. He had a passion to restore the city and dedicated himself to its needs.
Verse 16 mentions a denial of real estate opportunities. On top of the ability to tax and extort the people, rulers could take advantage of the peoples’ desperation. They could buy land for very little money (say, as forgiveness for that month’s tribute) and later sell it for a high price after the restoration raised the property value. Again, as a man who knew the law, Nehemiah remembered God’s command to not move the boundary stones set by his forefathers (Deuteronomy 19:14).
The remaining passage in chapter 5 tells of a daily feast at Nehemiah’s table. Over 150 people every night came to his residence and ate one ox, six choice sheep, various foul, and several barrels of wine a night. Remember that this man refused the king’s food allowance. We can only assume then that Nehemiah paid for this generosity out of his own pocket for twelve years. Simple, straightforward math shows a staggering cost for this kind of hospitality. 4,380 oxen, 26,280 sheep and foul, and a new supply of wine for 150+ people ordered 438 times. That’s a lot of people for a long time. And not only important leaders. The text says other Judeans and foreign guests came and sat at Nehemiah’s table.
I think it was especially important for Nehemiah to invite foreign leaders to these nightly banquets. If the former practices of usury and extortion only added to the nations’ contempt of Jerusalem, the new lifestyle of generosity would silence the criticism. One more stone put in place for the restoration of the Jews as God’s chosen and special people.
Let this encourage you. Inviting people into your home for dinner or a party can seem like a simple thing but I want you to consider it as Nehemiah did. The new generosity allows people to see Christ at work in your home. This comes through how you freely give to your guests, as a visual example of how you interact with your family or roommates, and opens opportunities to speak into their lives with truth and wisdom.
People need to see the power of the living God at work in our lives. What with the stress of credit card bills and all.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Nehemiah Part Four - Avoiding sham battles
Until Skelletones established itself as a venue, punk shows in West Michigan had almost no security. Many of my friends and I hoped our common love of the music would keep the peace. But punk music, and soon hardcore music, brought out all kinds of culturally repressed aggression. Not all the shows were safe to attend, whether due to the venue, bands, or fans. The worst part about the fights at these shows was that no recognized authority could step in and arbitrate. Sometimes enough onlookers would jump in and break it up. Other times, kids hurt each other. One of the members of the band Don Knotts got stabbed over twenty times at one show when he tried to stop one of these fights.
With the one exception of a skinhead dragging me toward the Grand River with threats of killing me, I managed to stay away from most of the real danger. My experiences came more from cheap shots in the pit or secondhand threats by the K-zoo Crew from Kalamazoo. I witnessed more than I experienced.
Mirf handled conflict better than anyone I’d ever seen. For him, resolving this sort of thing started before anyone squared off to fight. He showed love indiscriminately, which created a safe atmosphere at Skelletones. If anyone had any brains, they knew to respect Mirf’s authority. You don’t want to mess with the most popular guy in the room. When fights broke out during shows, he could confront the problem and maintain peace.
Of course, there were problems. Early on, a group of guys from Kalamazoo would drive to shows in Grand Rapids and piss off everyone. They called themselves “The K-Zoo Crew”. Their cheap shots and macho intimidation fostered a lot of ill will between people. Grand Rapids kids wanted to have fun. The K-Zoo Crew wanted “real” hardcore. I don’t know exactly why they hated so many of the kids in Grand Rapids. My friends and I often wondered aloud why, if they hated us so much, those kids would spend the time and money driving to our city.
Over time, the troublemakers moved to cities with “better scenes”, and the others ended up becoming well-loved figures at Skelletones. Before I moved to Nashville, I heard stories about another group of kids, the Great Lakes Youth Crew. They were a more aggressive version of the K-Zoo Crew. Where the Kalamazoo kids seemed to talk more than anything, the GLYC actually caused serious trouble. A fifteen-year-old girl apparently crossed one of them at an Eighteen Visions show. The guy cut her in the back with a razor blade. She didn’t notice at first because she assumed the wetness was only sweat. But then she felt dizzy and went outside for some air. That’s where someone finally noticed her blood-soaked shirt.
If the first part of Mirf’s conflict resolution came from loving people, the second part dealt with a refusal to focus on the problem. He addressed trouble when he saw it, and eventually he hired security, but he didn’t want people to think of Skelletones as a troubled place. An attitude of peace had to be the norm with occasional incidents, not the other way around. And it worked.
In 2005, Skelletones moved to the space below the coffee shop, selling the café portion to some kids who worked for him. They renamed it The Euclid, after a pet hamster. I stayed on staff there as I continued to volunteer at Skelletones.
Shortly after the shift in management, things began to change at The Euclid. Younger kids began to hang out as well as more suspicious people. This bothered me. I’d thought we had cleaned up the neighborhood and started something positive on South Division. But worse than some of the shady people who started to come around, I was more offended at the passivity of the new staff. They wanted to retain the good feeling that Mirf and Annette had established with Skelletones but they didn’t address the problems with a loving attitude. People began to take advantage of their politeness, and eventually, the staff began to lash out without the loving relationships Mirf taught his staff to create.
As much as I hate to admit it, I also lost my temper with people. One guy, Gary, could really piss me off. He panhandled on our block and would sometimes come into the shop. He bothered kids and aggressively told them to give him money or cigarettes. I don’t remember how many times I kicked him out, but I’d always give him a chance when he came through our doors. This isn’t an exclusive club, after all, I thought. He can come if he buys a drink and doesn’t pressure anyone.
I worked on the last night we let Gary come to the Euclid. He sauntered through the door and immediately asked a kid for a cigarette. The kid seemed willing, so I decided to leave it alone for the moment. Justin LeQuire was there by the counter talking with me as I worked. Gary asked him for his lighter before going into the bathroom. “There’s no smoking in the bathroom, Gary!” I yelled.
“I ain’t gonna smoke!” he yelled back.
I was busy making drinks and didn’t feel like dealing with the problem just then. Twenty minutes later, Justin said, “He’s still in there.” I looked from mopping the floor and saw two or three kids standing by the bathroom door waiting for Gary to finish.
“What are you doing in there, Gary?” I kicked the door. He didn’t answer. “Get out of there, man!”
The door burst open. Gary was pulling up his pants as he came out to yell at me. “Can’t a guy get a little peace when he goes to the bathroom?” he demanded.
Justin held his hand out for the lighter, which he dropped as soon as Gary returned it. “Ow! That’s hot!”
That’s when I noticed the un-smoked cigarette behind Gary’s ear. Wheels turned. Justin leaned in and said, “There aren’t many reasons why my lighter would be this hot.” I looked at Gary’s eyes. He was doing drugs in our bathroom, around teenagers. After years of convincing parents that their kids were safe inside our walls, I felt a new kind of anger.
I gripped the mop handle and came close to Gary. “Get out,” I said. “Get out of here and never come back. If you even see me on the street, turn around and walk the other way. And if you ever try to come in here again, we’ll call the cops.” I didn’t bother to lower my voice. Gary protested for a minute, saying that I couldn’t tell him what to do as I backed him out of the building, brandishing the mob handle.
The room had stopped to watch. I wanted to protect the kids, but publicly losing my temper made them aware of the situation. Instead of keeping the peace, I had emphasized a need for the peace to be kept. It made everyone uncomfortable, including myself. Half of the kids left soon afterward.
After another night, when I publicly announced a crackdown on people who were selling drugs instead of buying drinks, everyone began to talk about how the coffee shop had changed. We focused on the trouble, and so in the minds of people, The Euclid was a troubled place.
Sham Battles
In the beginning of Nehemiah 4, the rulers surrounding Jerusalem continue to mock and ridicule the reconstruction. Having already addressed these men and their attacks, Nehemiah prays instead of getting drawn into a verbal argument. He didn’t need to further defend the “Good Work”. Already, the people had rebuilt the wall to half its height all the way around Jerusalem.
I heard Ian Ashby, a pastor from New Hampshire, speak on this passage at a Newfrontiers men’s conference in Stone Mountain, Georgia. Ian focused primarily on two points in Nehemiah, the “Good Work” and how the people “Worked with a will”.
The “Good Work”, obviously, was a restoration of the heart as well as the walls. According to Haggai, the worship of God in the temple had all but ceased as people sat around the rubble. Jerusalem still had a high priest, Joshua son of Jehozadak. Temple worship still existed. But Haggai rebuked the people for neglecting God by focusing on their possessions.
This leads me to make a point on subtle idolatry. It is possible to commit the sin of idolatry in the name of serving God. Many people in the ministry, if they’re wise, will admit to the danger of making ministry their number one priority. Instead of seeking God and listening for the direction of the Holy Spirit as they minister, a person can get a skewed idea that serving the ministry is the same as serving God.
I won’t make this personal. Go back to Nehemiah. So God gave him the Good Work in rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls. Imagine if the walls became their primary goal instead of restoring the hearts of the people to God, living in the destiny He promised. When Sanvalat and Tobiah insulted the work, the Jews might have gotten huffy, righteously, of course. “Who do they think they are? King David took care of a certain nine-foot-tall mocker once.” Now they’re rolling up their sleeves and looking to chop off a few heads. But the rulers mocked the work and Goliath mocked God. God told the people to build. If the people fought instead of continuing the restoration, they would have moved in direct disobedience to God.
Okay, I lied. I’m going to maybe make this a little personal. Listen up, worship leaders. Ever had some “holy hecklers”? You know what I mean, those people who criticize the musicianship or song choice? Or what you wear? Or how much vibrato you used to pull out that last “Hallelujah”? Right, they’ve missed the point of worship. That doesn’t mean you should waste any time or emotional energy wringing your hands or punching pillows. Let’s assume God told you to lead worship and worship as you lead. That’s your job. That’s the obedience He requires. God blesses obedience, so what do you have to worry about? Ask yourself these questions. Are you defending God because you love His holiness and desire to give a reasoned answer to people? Or are you pissed because someone attacked your abilities, your ministry, and you feel like that makes you look bad? Are you righteously miffed or just embarrassed? In other words, who is your God? Your music ministry or the God who gave you the gift of music?
Nehemiah already told off the hecklers in Chapter 2. What would he say to these new attacks? “What? A fox knock down our walls? Nuh-uh! That’s stupid. You’re stupid.” What if he shifted his focus to these guys? It would have further damaged morale. And this was an attack on Jerusalem’s morale. Sanvalat & Co. wanted Nehemiah to defend himself as the new leader of a broken community and neglect the Good Work. They wanted him to focus on the trouble they made so that, in the minds of the people, Jerusalem would seem like a troubled place.
What did Nehemiah do in response? He prayed. Verses 4-5 of chapter 4 record his prayer. “Hear, O our God, how we are despised! Return their reproach on their own heads and give them up for plunder in a land of captivity. Do not forgive their iniquity and let not their sin be blotted out before You, for they have demoralized the builders.” Having already credited the work to God in chapter 2, Nehemiah trusted God to answer the rulers’ taunts.
And God did bless their obedience. Verse 6 tells how the people finished the wall all the way around to half its height because “the people had a mind to work”. Other translations say, “they worked with a will”. They knew their God and obeyed despite the circumstances. It feels god to accomplish something, to complete a definite stage.
When I was in grade school, bullies would make fun of me in hopes that I’d take the first swing so they could blame me for the fight. I fell for this trick a few times until my dad told me not to throw the first punch. But most bullies weren’t happy when I denied them a justifiable fight. Several times, they’d start threatening a first move. A clenched fist, a step forward, maybe a shove. They continued to provoke without making the first attack. Bullies have been using the same tricks for millennia. The rulers in Nehemiah decided to do the same thing in verses 7-8. “Now when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the Ashdodites heard that the repair of the walls of Jerusalem went on, and that the breaches began to be closed, they were very angry. All of them conspired together to come and fight against Jerusalem and to cause a disturbance in it.”
Now, surely, Nehemiah has to answer these men, to shove back. He can’t let them get away with this sort of thing, right? It’s not just two guys mouthing off anymore. There are rulers and nations on all sides of them looking for a fight. In verse 10, you can read some of the widespread propaganda.
But Nehemiah stayed focused on the work, responding now with both prayer and security guards. If these guys really wanted to mix it up, they’d have to come into Jerusalem. The Jews would have clearly been on the defense. More importantly, they wouldn’t get fooled into fighting. Obviously, the purpose of the threat was to get the people to stop working, to lose sight of God and His command. If the Jews stopped the reconstruction to train soldiers and go into the field of battle, not only would they waste time and lose sight of the Good Work, Sanvalat would have probably sent word to the king in hopes that he would shut down production. The accusations of Jerusalem’s “rebellious” past would have begun to look like a real problem. Nehemiah would have lost the king’s favor and thus diminished the power of his testimony to the people.
The enemies of Jesus today probably like the present condition of the Western church much like the rulers surrounding Jerusalem. When the walls are broken and the gates are burned, there’s no threat. They can continue living their lives without feeling like God might come in and mess up everything. It’s only when renewal comes, when the Gospel begins to breath life into people and cities, that they rear up and cause trouble. Every movement, every inspired teacher, every church looking to rebuild the body of Christ will face fierce criticism. The criticism will likely turn to insults and maybe threats of harm to persons or property.
Christians can face this opposition in a few different ways. Some decades ago, people formed an organization to show that Christianity hadn’t lost it’s power and authority. The Christian Coalition would use politics to influence culture and take a stand for what they believed. So they fought battles in the media and in Washington against abortion, homosexuality, gambling, liquor sales on Sunday, and so on. Very soon, the culture defined Christians by the things they opposed rather than the God they claimed to serve. It wouldn’t be long before David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons picked up their pens to survey the damage.
I wonder what the Coalition has to say about 1 Peter 3:8-9? “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” And later, in verses 13-16,
“Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.”
Peter tells the church to be “ready to make a defense”, not to look for fights. How often have you felt like somebody suckered you into a fight over religion? I know it’s happened to me at least a few times. And I never felt like I did anything for God in those arguments. Apparently, being defensive isn’t the same as being ready to make a defense.
It appears that readiness is the key. Another example in scripture comes to mind from Judges 7. The story goes that God has Gideon put together an army to fight the Midianites. But the army, God says, is too big. If they win, He says, they’ll brag about how great they were when they defeated Midian. During the winnowing process, God tells Gideon to have all the men go down by a body of water. The men were then divided into two groups, those who squatted down and cupped the water with one hand and those who got down on their knees to drink.
God tells Gideon to keep the men who drank with one hand. I imagine their other hand was free to grab their weapon should trouble come. They were ready while they drank water. The funny part is, come battle time, they don’t even use those weapons. They hold up torches and make a lot of noise, sending the enemy camp into a panic. Still, God wanted them ready.
Of course we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to abortion or give our blessing to homosexuality because the Bible clearly calls those things sin. I’m certain the Holy Spirit directs some people to take up those issues. My point is that the church should address sin and still focus on building the Kingdom of God through the Gospel. Organizations like the Christian Coalition seem to have fallen for the bullies’ trick and gotten themselves into a sham battle. All their arguments and politicizing have caused the average unchurched individual to associate Jesus with hate and politics. If you’re challenged, have a ready answer and make sure they come to you. Don’t go looking for a fight when you’re supposed to be building.
Through the rest of Chapter 4, we see Nehemiah using the strategy of readiness. The people who carry building materials do so with one hand while holding their weapon in the other. Those building on the wall need both hands, so they keep a sword strapped to their leg. In case of attack, there are men with trumpets ready to signal where to gather and defend. Verse 23 echoes back to Gideon’s men. “So neither I, my brothers, my servants, nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us removed our clothes, each took his weapon even to the water.”
The Time I Got It Right
When Mirf still ran the coffee shop, he told the staff to pray before opening each night. He and Annette would pray in and for Skelletones all the time. I knew that the peace people felt when they entered the door came as a direct result of God moving in those prayers.
I was reminded of Mirf’s reliance on God when I had another confrontation at work. Thinking back on that night, nobody had yet come in after I opened. It was late November and people would sometimes come in just to wait for the bus by our front window. Not everybody caused trouble, but the occasional nut-job would bother customers so we had to enforce the one drink minimum.
So when Frank came in and stood by the window, ignoring my offers to get him a drink, I told him about the one drink minimum. He glared at me and kept his vigil for the bus. “You’ve got to buy a drink if you want to stay in here,” I said.
Frank turned around and shot back at me, “You’re telling me you’d kick an old man out into the cold because he won’t buy a cup of coffee.”
Instead of keeping my calm, I volleyed back, “Well it’d help for the chill.”
We started yelling at each other until I said, “I told you to leave! You’re trespassing. If you don’t get out of here, I’m going to call the cops.”
“Alright, fine!” He shouted, waving his hands around in frustration. “You’re saying I can stand there outside the door? Everything’s fine as long as I stand on the other side of that door?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Frank zipped up his coat and went outside the door. But instead of walking to the corner to wait for the bus, he kept shouting curse words and blasphemes at me through the glass. A thought came to mind. “Pray.” I began to pray where Frank could see me behind the counter. I spoke aloud and told any blaspheming spirit to leave, even away from our part of the block. Frank’s voice dropped to a mumble and then he stopped talking altogether. After a few moments, he left. I had an especially peaceful night at work.
I sometimes wish I’d remembered that night when I chased Gary away with a mop handle. Prayer worked especially well when Frank shouted at me from the doorway. I don’t know why I didn’t stop to pray before I freaked out on Gary. Maybe I was a sucker for getting pulled into that fight. I don’t know. But addressing a problem and focusing on a problem seems to make all the difference.
With the one exception of a skinhead dragging me toward the Grand River with threats of killing me, I managed to stay away from most of the real danger. My experiences came more from cheap shots in the pit or secondhand threats by the K-zoo Crew from Kalamazoo. I witnessed more than I experienced.
Mirf handled conflict better than anyone I’d ever seen. For him, resolving this sort of thing started before anyone squared off to fight. He showed love indiscriminately, which created a safe atmosphere at Skelletones. If anyone had any brains, they knew to respect Mirf’s authority. You don’t want to mess with the most popular guy in the room. When fights broke out during shows, he could confront the problem and maintain peace.
Of course, there were problems. Early on, a group of guys from Kalamazoo would drive to shows in Grand Rapids and piss off everyone. They called themselves “The K-Zoo Crew”. Their cheap shots and macho intimidation fostered a lot of ill will between people. Grand Rapids kids wanted to have fun. The K-Zoo Crew wanted “real” hardcore. I don’t know exactly why they hated so many of the kids in Grand Rapids. My friends and I often wondered aloud why, if they hated us so much, those kids would spend the time and money driving to our city.
Over time, the troublemakers moved to cities with “better scenes”, and the others ended up becoming well-loved figures at Skelletones. Before I moved to Nashville, I heard stories about another group of kids, the Great Lakes Youth Crew. They were a more aggressive version of the K-Zoo Crew. Where the Kalamazoo kids seemed to talk more than anything, the GLYC actually caused serious trouble. A fifteen-year-old girl apparently crossed one of them at an Eighteen Visions show. The guy cut her in the back with a razor blade. She didn’t notice at first because she assumed the wetness was only sweat. But then she felt dizzy and went outside for some air. That’s where someone finally noticed her blood-soaked shirt.
If the first part of Mirf’s conflict resolution came from loving people, the second part dealt with a refusal to focus on the problem. He addressed trouble when he saw it, and eventually he hired security, but he didn’t want people to think of Skelletones as a troubled place. An attitude of peace had to be the norm with occasional incidents, not the other way around. And it worked.
In 2005, Skelletones moved to the space below the coffee shop, selling the café portion to some kids who worked for him. They renamed it The Euclid, after a pet hamster. I stayed on staff there as I continued to volunteer at Skelletones.
Shortly after the shift in management, things began to change at The Euclid. Younger kids began to hang out as well as more suspicious people. This bothered me. I’d thought we had cleaned up the neighborhood and started something positive on South Division. But worse than some of the shady people who started to come around, I was more offended at the passivity of the new staff. They wanted to retain the good feeling that Mirf and Annette had established with Skelletones but they didn’t address the problems with a loving attitude. People began to take advantage of their politeness, and eventually, the staff began to lash out without the loving relationships Mirf taught his staff to create.
As much as I hate to admit it, I also lost my temper with people. One guy, Gary, could really piss me off. He panhandled on our block and would sometimes come into the shop. He bothered kids and aggressively told them to give him money or cigarettes. I don’t remember how many times I kicked him out, but I’d always give him a chance when he came through our doors. This isn’t an exclusive club, after all, I thought. He can come if he buys a drink and doesn’t pressure anyone.
I worked on the last night we let Gary come to the Euclid. He sauntered through the door and immediately asked a kid for a cigarette. The kid seemed willing, so I decided to leave it alone for the moment. Justin LeQuire was there by the counter talking with me as I worked. Gary asked him for his lighter before going into the bathroom. “There’s no smoking in the bathroom, Gary!” I yelled.
“I ain’t gonna smoke!” he yelled back.
I was busy making drinks and didn’t feel like dealing with the problem just then. Twenty minutes later, Justin said, “He’s still in there.” I looked from mopping the floor and saw two or three kids standing by the bathroom door waiting for Gary to finish.
“What are you doing in there, Gary?” I kicked the door. He didn’t answer. “Get out of there, man!”
The door burst open. Gary was pulling up his pants as he came out to yell at me. “Can’t a guy get a little peace when he goes to the bathroom?” he demanded.
Justin held his hand out for the lighter, which he dropped as soon as Gary returned it. “Ow! That’s hot!”
That’s when I noticed the un-smoked cigarette behind Gary’s ear. Wheels turned. Justin leaned in and said, “There aren’t many reasons why my lighter would be this hot.” I looked at Gary’s eyes. He was doing drugs in our bathroom, around teenagers. After years of convincing parents that their kids were safe inside our walls, I felt a new kind of anger.
I gripped the mop handle and came close to Gary. “Get out,” I said. “Get out of here and never come back. If you even see me on the street, turn around and walk the other way. And if you ever try to come in here again, we’ll call the cops.” I didn’t bother to lower my voice. Gary protested for a minute, saying that I couldn’t tell him what to do as I backed him out of the building, brandishing the mob handle.
The room had stopped to watch. I wanted to protect the kids, but publicly losing my temper made them aware of the situation. Instead of keeping the peace, I had emphasized a need for the peace to be kept. It made everyone uncomfortable, including myself. Half of the kids left soon afterward.
After another night, when I publicly announced a crackdown on people who were selling drugs instead of buying drinks, everyone began to talk about how the coffee shop had changed. We focused on the trouble, and so in the minds of people, The Euclid was a troubled place.
Sham Battles
In the beginning of Nehemiah 4, the rulers surrounding Jerusalem continue to mock and ridicule the reconstruction. Having already addressed these men and their attacks, Nehemiah prays instead of getting drawn into a verbal argument. He didn’t need to further defend the “Good Work”. Already, the people had rebuilt the wall to half its height all the way around Jerusalem.
I heard Ian Ashby, a pastor from New Hampshire, speak on this passage at a Newfrontiers men’s conference in Stone Mountain, Georgia. Ian focused primarily on two points in Nehemiah, the “Good Work” and how the people “Worked with a will”.
The “Good Work”, obviously, was a restoration of the heart as well as the walls. According to Haggai, the worship of God in the temple had all but ceased as people sat around the rubble. Jerusalem still had a high priest, Joshua son of Jehozadak. Temple worship still existed. But Haggai rebuked the people for neglecting God by focusing on their possessions.
This leads me to make a point on subtle idolatry. It is possible to commit the sin of idolatry in the name of serving God. Many people in the ministry, if they’re wise, will admit to the danger of making ministry their number one priority. Instead of seeking God and listening for the direction of the Holy Spirit as they minister, a person can get a skewed idea that serving the ministry is the same as serving God.
I won’t make this personal. Go back to Nehemiah. So God gave him the Good Work in rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls. Imagine if the walls became their primary goal instead of restoring the hearts of the people to God, living in the destiny He promised. When Sanvalat and Tobiah insulted the work, the Jews might have gotten huffy, righteously, of course. “Who do they think they are? King David took care of a certain nine-foot-tall mocker once.” Now they’re rolling up their sleeves and looking to chop off a few heads. But the rulers mocked the work and Goliath mocked God. God told the people to build. If the people fought instead of continuing the restoration, they would have moved in direct disobedience to God.
Okay, I lied. I’m going to maybe make this a little personal. Listen up, worship leaders. Ever had some “holy hecklers”? You know what I mean, those people who criticize the musicianship or song choice? Or what you wear? Or how much vibrato you used to pull out that last “Hallelujah”? Right, they’ve missed the point of worship. That doesn’t mean you should waste any time or emotional energy wringing your hands or punching pillows. Let’s assume God told you to lead worship and worship as you lead. That’s your job. That’s the obedience He requires. God blesses obedience, so what do you have to worry about? Ask yourself these questions. Are you defending God because you love His holiness and desire to give a reasoned answer to people? Or are you pissed because someone attacked your abilities, your ministry, and you feel like that makes you look bad? Are you righteously miffed or just embarrassed? In other words, who is your God? Your music ministry or the God who gave you the gift of music?
Nehemiah already told off the hecklers in Chapter 2. What would he say to these new attacks? “What? A fox knock down our walls? Nuh-uh! That’s stupid. You’re stupid.” What if he shifted his focus to these guys? It would have further damaged morale. And this was an attack on Jerusalem’s morale. Sanvalat & Co. wanted Nehemiah to defend himself as the new leader of a broken community and neglect the Good Work. They wanted him to focus on the trouble they made so that, in the minds of the people, Jerusalem would seem like a troubled place.
What did Nehemiah do in response? He prayed. Verses 4-5 of chapter 4 record his prayer. “Hear, O our God, how we are despised! Return their reproach on their own heads and give them up for plunder in a land of captivity. Do not forgive their iniquity and let not their sin be blotted out before You, for they have demoralized the builders.” Having already credited the work to God in chapter 2, Nehemiah trusted God to answer the rulers’ taunts.
And God did bless their obedience. Verse 6 tells how the people finished the wall all the way around to half its height because “the people had a mind to work”. Other translations say, “they worked with a will”. They knew their God and obeyed despite the circumstances. It feels god to accomplish something, to complete a definite stage.
When I was in grade school, bullies would make fun of me in hopes that I’d take the first swing so they could blame me for the fight. I fell for this trick a few times until my dad told me not to throw the first punch. But most bullies weren’t happy when I denied them a justifiable fight. Several times, they’d start threatening a first move. A clenched fist, a step forward, maybe a shove. They continued to provoke without making the first attack. Bullies have been using the same tricks for millennia. The rulers in Nehemiah decided to do the same thing in verses 7-8. “Now when Sanballat, Tobiah, the Arabs, the Ammonites and the Ashdodites heard that the repair of the walls of Jerusalem went on, and that the breaches began to be closed, they were very angry. All of them conspired together to come and fight against Jerusalem and to cause a disturbance in it.”
Now, surely, Nehemiah has to answer these men, to shove back. He can’t let them get away with this sort of thing, right? It’s not just two guys mouthing off anymore. There are rulers and nations on all sides of them looking for a fight. In verse 10, you can read some of the widespread propaganda.
But Nehemiah stayed focused on the work, responding now with both prayer and security guards. If these guys really wanted to mix it up, they’d have to come into Jerusalem. The Jews would have clearly been on the defense. More importantly, they wouldn’t get fooled into fighting. Obviously, the purpose of the threat was to get the people to stop working, to lose sight of God and His command. If the Jews stopped the reconstruction to train soldiers and go into the field of battle, not only would they waste time and lose sight of the Good Work, Sanvalat would have probably sent word to the king in hopes that he would shut down production. The accusations of Jerusalem’s “rebellious” past would have begun to look like a real problem. Nehemiah would have lost the king’s favor and thus diminished the power of his testimony to the people.
The enemies of Jesus today probably like the present condition of the Western church much like the rulers surrounding Jerusalem. When the walls are broken and the gates are burned, there’s no threat. They can continue living their lives without feeling like God might come in and mess up everything. It’s only when renewal comes, when the Gospel begins to breath life into people and cities, that they rear up and cause trouble. Every movement, every inspired teacher, every church looking to rebuild the body of Christ will face fierce criticism. The criticism will likely turn to insults and maybe threats of harm to persons or property.
Christians can face this opposition in a few different ways. Some decades ago, people formed an organization to show that Christianity hadn’t lost it’s power and authority. The Christian Coalition would use politics to influence culture and take a stand for what they believed. So they fought battles in the media and in Washington against abortion, homosexuality, gambling, liquor sales on Sunday, and so on. Very soon, the culture defined Christians by the things they opposed rather than the God they claimed to serve. It wouldn’t be long before David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons picked up their pens to survey the damage.
I wonder what the Coalition has to say about 1 Peter 3:8-9? “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” And later, in verses 13-16,
“Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame.”
Peter tells the church to be “ready to make a defense”, not to look for fights. How often have you felt like somebody suckered you into a fight over religion? I know it’s happened to me at least a few times. And I never felt like I did anything for God in those arguments. Apparently, being defensive isn’t the same as being ready to make a defense.
It appears that readiness is the key. Another example in scripture comes to mind from Judges 7. The story goes that God has Gideon put together an army to fight the Midianites. But the army, God says, is too big. If they win, He says, they’ll brag about how great they were when they defeated Midian. During the winnowing process, God tells Gideon to have all the men go down by a body of water. The men were then divided into two groups, those who squatted down and cupped the water with one hand and those who got down on their knees to drink.
God tells Gideon to keep the men who drank with one hand. I imagine their other hand was free to grab their weapon should trouble come. They were ready while they drank water. The funny part is, come battle time, they don’t even use those weapons. They hold up torches and make a lot of noise, sending the enemy camp into a panic. Still, God wanted them ready.
Of course we shouldn’t turn a blind eye to abortion or give our blessing to homosexuality because the Bible clearly calls those things sin. I’m certain the Holy Spirit directs some people to take up those issues. My point is that the church should address sin and still focus on building the Kingdom of God through the Gospel. Organizations like the Christian Coalition seem to have fallen for the bullies’ trick and gotten themselves into a sham battle. All their arguments and politicizing have caused the average unchurched individual to associate Jesus with hate and politics. If you’re challenged, have a ready answer and make sure they come to you. Don’t go looking for a fight when you’re supposed to be building.
Through the rest of Chapter 4, we see Nehemiah using the strategy of readiness. The people who carry building materials do so with one hand while holding their weapon in the other. Those building on the wall need both hands, so they keep a sword strapped to their leg. In case of attack, there are men with trumpets ready to signal where to gather and defend. Verse 23 echoes back to Gideon’s men. “So neither I, my brothers, my servants, nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us removed our clothes, each took his weapon even to the water.”
The Time I Got It Right
When Mirf still ran the coffee shop, he told the staff to pray before opening each night. He and Annette would pray in and for Skelletones all the time. I knew that the peace people felt when they entered the door came as a direct result of God moving in those prayers.
I was reminded of Mirf’s reliance on God when I had another confrontation at work. Thinking back on that night, nobody had yet come in after I opened. It was late November and people would sometimes come in just to wait for the bus by our front window. Not everybody caused trouble, but the occasional nut-job would bother customers so we had to enforce the one drink minimum.
So when Frank came in and stood by the window, ignoring my offers to get him a drink, I told him about the one drink minimum. He glared at me and kept his vigil for the bus. “You’ve got to buy a drink if you want to stay in here,” I said.
Frank turned around and shot back at me, “You’re telling me you’d kick an old man out into the cold because he won’t buy a cup of coffee.”
Instead of keeping my calm, I volleyed back, “Well it’d help for the chill.”
We started yelling at each other until I said, “I told you to leave! You’re trespassing. If you don’t get out of here, I’m going to call the cops.”
“Alright, fine!” He shouted, waving his hands around in frustration. “You’re saying I can stand there outside the door? Everything’s fine as long as I stand on the other side of that door?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”
Frank zipped up his coat and went outside the door. But instead of walking to the corner to wait for the bus, he kept shouting curse words and blasphemes at me through the glass. A thought came to mind. “Pray.” I began to pray where Frank could see me behind the counter. I spoke aloud and told any blaspheming spirit to leave, even away from our part of the block. Frank’s voice dropped to a mumble and then he stopped talking altogether. After a few moments, he left. I had an especially peaceful night at work.
I sometimes wish I’d remembered that night when I chased Gary away with a mop handle. Prayer worked especially well when Frank shouted at me from the doorway. I don’t know why I didn’t stop to pray before I freaked out on Gary. Maybe I was a sucker for getting pulled into that fight. I don’t know. But addressing a problem and focusing on a problem seems to make all the difference.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Nehemiah Part Three - Making the thank you list
Some musicians love to thank a huge list of people in their album liner notes. I don’t. What if I forget to mention sensitive people who would take offense at the neglect? Or maybe so many people had helped me that listing them would take several pages of a CD jacket. Typically, I leave my thanks to “God and everybody else”.
One complaint many people have with reading the Bible has something to do with the list of names. “So and so begetting so and so,” and so on. It can feel like God is the drummer of your band who wants to thank everyone individually, even if that person only helped load the van one time.
The majority of Nehemiah three covers the names of people who worked on rebuilding the wall and gates. A casual reader may easily let his eyes glide over this passage as if the words had a non-stick coating. When I took a closer look, though, I saw fun asides Nehemiah threw into the thank you list.
In verse five, he takes a shot at people who think that power negates responsibility. “Moreover, next to him the Tekoites made repairs, but their nobles did not support the work of their masters.” A few verses later, he mentions a guy named Hananiah, “one of the perfumers,” making repairs. Can you imagine a chemist building a house? That’s the image I got. One of Jerusalem’s officials worked on the walls with the help of his daughters. Hey, if those nobles won’t do the work, why not some young women?
Terry Virgo, the leader of New Frontiers International, talked about this tendency of God’s to mention all those names. “Everyone counts. They all matter. God doesn’t want a faceless army because God loves every face.”
I think God has a good reason for thanking the guy who loaded the van. He wants to reward those who obey Him. Those people rebuilding the wall took on an enormous task for the sake of God’s glory. Who wants to walk away from a job like that and get an anonymous pat on the back?
We can easily get trapped in a sense of false humility when we do God’s work and say we want no reward for the work that we do. When I led the worship team in high school, I dreaded people telling me that they enjoyed it. Enjoy my worship? It felt like being spied on in the shower. That’s between me and God, thanks. At the same time, I couldn’t get angry with the people saying these things because they wanted to express how the worship blessed them. How could I deny their joy? So I’d tell the people, “I’m just worshipping God like the rest of you. The only difference is who has a microphone.”
What a load. I especially knew it with people who were either more musically capable or totally tone-deaf. God gave me a gift and asked me to use it. He hadn’t asked them to do what I did on those nights. Not as far as I know. Why did I feel so awkward about something that should have encouraged me?
I find it interesting how God made it clear in scripture that He intends to reward us when we do His will. 1 Corinthians 3:9-13 even uses a metaphor of building.
For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building. According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it. For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. If any man's work which he has built on it remains, he will receive a reward. If any man's work is burned up, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.” (emphasis mine)
I don’t want to get into a discussion about what reward God gives for our good service. The point is that He wants to bless us. It’s one thing to do a good job and receive a reward, and another to do your work with a sense of entitlement. For example, look at the man who hired people throughout the day to work in his vineyard in Matthew 20. He paid everyone equally, even if they worked half as long as the others. The people who worked all day were bummed out that the latecomers were paid just as much as them, so they figured the owner should pay to scale. For some reason, they assumed that their labor had appreciated in value. Instead, the owner gave them what pay they accepted before the work began. His blessings weren’t based on a scale of equality, but generosity.
Jesus ends the parable by saying, “So the last shall be first, and the first last.” Can you imagine a well-meaning worker telling the owner, “Oh no, I don’t deserve this. Not if these other people did more than me. Here, give them half of my wages.” Sadly, I can imagine this because I have that attitude sometimes. “Hey, if I came here last, I should be last. Fair’s fair.”
Pretty stupid, huh? Aside from losing out on a great reward, I’d also subtly question God’s goodness. Not His goodness to me, but others. It’s passive aggression, the most awful kind of aggression. If we were to look at this attitude for what it really is, the supposed egalitarian stance really tries to put us as God’s equal or superior. We know best. We have the right to tell Him when He’s wrong.
Ten chapters before this parable, Jesus promises something to His disciples that would totally outrage the egalitarian mind. Matthew 10:41 says, “He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward.” Look at the mechanics of that statement. The people taking care of the prophet or righteous man receive the same reward as their guests! They’re getting paid for a job they didn’t necessarily do!
But from where does this false humility come?
I suspect that it comes from one of several places. It can come from a place of hurt in our lives. The reason I began to play music had to do with love for music. The reason I started playing in a band had more to do with getting people to like me. The girls who wouldn’t date me. The dudes who wouldn’t let me play ball with them. The kids who threw rocks at me. Those people. I wanted to show them how they had rejected the coolest guy on the planet. When I heard the song “Stop” by Against Me, I felt so exposed. It summed up my secret agenda so well. “All of our lives in waiting. All of our lives traded for their roses and applause. All of our lives dedicated to shoving it right back in their f*ing face.”
But I knew that worship differed from playing in a punk band. I took on this Reverend Dimsdale kind of posture where I served God but secretly beat myself up for all the horrible things I’d hidden from the church. Would they have made me the worship if they knew I was still experimenting with drugs only a year before, or masturbated daily, or had language that could draw blood? In punk music, I could talk about all this stuff. But in church, I let it corner me into thinking I didn’t deserve God’s grace. I didn’t deserve His attention, let alone His pleasure. So I acted like a guy who loaded the van and shook hands instead of the beloved son for whom Jesus died.
Two Pictures of Humility
Humility first begins with understanding our proper place in creation. God is the ultimate, perfect, and self-sufficient being. We are His creation, given dignity because we are made in His image. Even though He gave man authority in nature (Gen. 1:28-30), man’s authority still came from and was accountable to God. We can see this in how He set boundaries of right and wrong for man. In every covenant that God made with man, God set the terms without negotiation. I’ve told people that the true sin of Adam and Eve came from the lie that they might be “like God” (Gen. 3:5). They wanted to define good and evil for themselves, to have a say in what God determined. The world has suffered the consequences ever since.
Going back to the sermon by Terry Virgo, he gave an excellent explanation of Moses’s journey from prince of Egypt to Hebrew deliverer.
Think about Moses as the prince of Egypt. He has one of the strongest nations in the known world at his fingertips. Not bad for the adopted son of a Hebrew slave. Keep that in mind as you read this passage from Exodus 2:11-14
“Now it came about in those days, when Moses had grown up, that he went out to his brethren and looked on their hard labors; and he saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his brethren. So he looked this way and that, and when he saw there was no one around, he struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. He went out the next day, and behold, two Hebrews were fighting with each other; and he said to the offender, ‘Why are you striking your companion?’ But he said, ‘Who made you a prince or a judge over us? Are you intending to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?’ Then Moses was afraid and said, ‘Surely the matter has become known.’”
I believe that Moses went under cover during these four verses in order to help his people. He killed an abusive Egyptian and hid him in the sand. That’s some serious vigilantism. Moses, the savior of Israel. But instead of getting a hero’s reception, as I’m sure he expected, the other slaves showed him contempt. “Who made you ruler or judge over us?” asks the equally abusive Hebrew slave. If Moses were still dressed in the royal robes of Egypt, there’s no way a slave would have talked to him that way. To do so would mean certain death.
The slave asks another question, which I read with a sneer. “Are you intending to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?” Moses wanted to be a hero but worked according to his own power and wisdom. Because of this, his people saw him as a bully and a killer.
Later, we read how Moses flees punishment and becomes a shepherd in the land of Midian. This job was only slightly better than that of a slave. Culturally, children worked as shepherds. The forty-year-old prince just opened a lemonade stand.
Then on day, Moses sees something interesting. Any change from the day-to-day may have caught his attention. He saw a bush burning on a mountain, but the fire didn’t consume it. As he approaches the bush, God speaks to him in Exodus 3:10. “Therefore, come now, and I will send you to Pharaoh, so that you may bring my people, the sons of Israel, out of Egypt.”
Hey Moses! You wanted to be a hero to your people. Now’s your chance. But Moses says, “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the sons of Israel out of Egypt?” This response echoes what the slave told Moses before he fled Egypt. “Who do you think you are?” It seems that Moses has answered with, “Nobody.” Moses spends so much time telling God that he’s the wrong man for the job he forgets that God is offering the fulfillment of the dream. He also misses the part in Exodus 3:8 where God says, “I have come down to deliver them from the power of the Egyptians”. God’s doing the work, Moses only has to go and send the message. Instead, Moses protests and God gets pissed.
At first glance, it may seem that Moses displayed humility in his question, “Who am I?” But Virgo points out that this humility was a cover for disobedience. In many ways, it sounds like the lie Adam and Eve bought in Eden. What Moses really meant was, “I know better, God. I can determine between right and wrong just like you and I say you’ve got the wrong guy. I don’t want to do this.” Moses didn’t properly recognize God’s supremacy and his own place in creation. False humility is really a passive aggressive pride. It’s sin.
Now let’s look at Jesus. You may see some parallels with the story of Moses. God the son came down to earth and became human to act as our deliverer. Like the quarrelsome slave, most people didn’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah and treated him with contempt. But when God told Jesus to go to the cross and offer salvation to those enslaved in sin, He went in obedience. Of course it was agonizing. Of course it was humiliating. But then Jesus got up. As one writer put it, “He arose victorious”. God won and got the glory.
This leads me to believe that true humility comes out of obedience, where we recognize God’s authority and submit to it. That doesn’t mean we reject God’s pleasure in us, or like Moses try to diminish our calling. We can be proud when it comes to doing what God wants.
The band Roadside Monument wrote a song with the line, “May we not be forgotten!” I had no idea what the song was really about beyond the desire we have to make our mark on the world. That lyric ran through my head all through high school. Some of it came form the wounds of rejection, like I mentioned earlier, of having something to prove. Some of it came from fear that my life would have no meaning, no impact. But when I thought about God, my attitude would change. At church, I would think, “Maybe nobody should remember me. John the Baptist said that he must decrease so Jesus could increase…” So I took on this tortured servant attitude. It seemed noble at the time. But like Moses, my attitude got in the way of obedience when God gave me opportunities for success. I wouldn’t let people find joy in my music, worship or otherwise. I didn’t want that attention anymore. That kind of thinking drove me into hiding for a while and I stopped blessing people with the gifts God had given me to use.
It surprises me how often I forget that God wants to bless us. There are countless examples and promises where God blesses obedience. Jesus said in Matthew 10:32, “Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven.”
The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 gives us a picture of God’s pleasure with those who do His will. To the two servants who used what the master had given, the master rejoices, “Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” But to the one who used humility as a cover for fear and pride, hiding his talent and returning to the master “what was his”, the master goes into a rage. He takes the talent from the servant, giving it to one of the faithful servants, and banishes him. That servant believed the same lie as Adam and Eve.
Let me put this in another light. If we are right in only taking what we deserved or earned, then we’re doomed. Paul writes in Romans 3, referring to Psalm 14, “as it is written, ‘There is none righteous, not even one; there is none who understands, there is none who seeks for God; all have turned aside, together they have become useless; there is none who does good, there is not even one.’”
We’ve all at one time or another believed the lie that we might know better than God. All sin is based in this lie, it drives us to do what we think is right. And this is what separates us from God. This is what God, in His justice, could not tolerate. We all deserve punishment for this rebellion.
Salvation comes only through Jesus and what He did by dying on the cross. We didn’t deserve it. We didn’t earn it. And yet He offers salvation to us. Speaking of Jesus, Galatians 4:4-5 says, “But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.
And a loving father names his children. He doesn’t adopt them and expect them to stay out of the way, or to be a “faceless army”.
It’s true that we must give God all glory, honor, and praise. But that doesn’t mean we act as if He’s wrong for showing people favor. He made the album, let Him thank who He wants to thank.
Nehemiah Part Two - Prayer and persecution.
An initial answer to prayer
The beginning of chapter two in Nehemiah’s book says,
“And it came about in the month Nisan, in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, that wine was before him, and I took up the wine and gave it to the king. Now I had not been sad in his presence. So the king said to me, ‘Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of heart.’ Then I was very much afraid. I said to the king, ‘Let the king live forever! Why should my face not be sad when the city, the place of my fathers’ tombs, lies desolate and its gates have been consumed by fire?’” (Neh. 2:1-3)
As a cupbearer, Nehemiah knew the risk what he planned to ask of the king. In his prayer, he asked God to show favor because to anger the king could mean his death. Putting myself in his shoes, I imagine psyching myself out before I walk into the same room as the king. “Okay, okay, you can do this. Just tell him what’s going on. He’ll understand.” But would he understand? Essentially, Nehemiah would ask the king to give him the authority of a ruler. Ever wonder if the janitor asks for a promotion to an executive position?
Then, when the king saw Nehemiah’s face, he knew that his attendant dealt with an inner struggle. I wonder if the king wrongly suspected Nehemiah of betrayal. It was the job of a cupbearer to test the king’s goblet for poison. The position required absolute trust from the king, so of course the king would ask that Nehemiah share his thoughts.
I wonder if Nehemiah suspected this possible suspicion. If they were just buddies, wouldn’t the king’s question about a “sadness of heart” sound like concern? Why would that cause him to fear?
Nehemiah proclaimed, “May the king live forever!” Or, as I read it, “I don’t want you to die! I’m for you, not against you!” Since his body language gave away his emotion, Nehemiah had no choice but to explain the meaning of his sadness, namely the ruin of Jerusalem.
Verse four has two important parts. First, the king responds to the news of Jerusalem by asking, “What would you request?” God is answering Nehemiah’s prayer! He had asked for favor, and here the king opens a discussion.
Because Nehemiah had requested favor in his first prayer, I believe he knew what he wanted. He wanted to go rebuild Jerusalem. But even when we have been gripped by the vision God gives, we can’t assume that we know how to make the vision a reality. This leads me to point out the second have of verse four, where Nehemiah throws an aside into the text, “So I prayed to the God of heaven.”
It’s crucial to understand the importance of prayer in a situation like this. The king and queen are sitting there, waiting for an answer, and Nehemiah has his chance. Instead of simply asking for what he desired, he took a moment to pray.
Have you ever done the right thing the wrong way? There have been times where I’m so certain of the direction and vision that God has given me that I will run over anyone that gets in my way. I’ll hurt family and loved ones. I’ll trumpet the vision to people who would of course ridicule me, which makes me think I can justify calling my pride “righteous anger”. I’ll even forget that God, who gave me a vision in the first place, has to show me the steps I need to take in order to get there. But even in a situation of pressure, Nehemiah prayed.
In verses 5-8, Nehemiah requests a letter giving him authority, assurance of safe passage, and the right to surrounding resources for his project. The guy works as a wine butler, as you may recall. What an insane request! But the king showed him favor. Nehemiah says in verse 8, “And the king granted them to me because the good hand of my God was on me.”
Haters
Grand Rapids used to have the greatest all ages venue in human history. My friends Mirf and Annette opened Skelletones in 2000 in the Heartside District on South Division, setting up shop right next to the homeless shelters, working girls, and hustlers. The day after they opened, I was about a mile away at the community college taking my SAT exam. Because I was too arrogant to bother myself with preparation tests, and because I find it difficult to skim while I read, I thought for sure I bombed what everyone called the most important test of my life.
Afterwards, I walked south on Division Avenue toward a hole in the wall record shop I’d spotted once when I wandered around the city. The owner, an old man named Dodd, roused himself from what may have been a sleeping position when I walked in the door. He mumbled out a “hello” and I braced myself for an hour of flipping through unorganized piles of dusty records. Before long, I found a sealed copy of Anthrax’s Attack of the Killer B’s, factory stickers and all. When I paid the man at the counter, he looked at the record as if he vaguely remembered having it in stock for fifteen years.
My friend Justin called me on my way out the door. “What are you doing right now?” he asked.
“I’m at Dodd’s trying to buy happiness after failing the SAT.” I exaggerated.
“Dude, I’m right down the street. Mirf and Annette opened a coffee shop. I stopped by for lunch. Come over.”
From then, I hung out at Skelletones just about every weekend if not every day. Within a few weeks of opening their doors, Mirf began booking shows. A couple named Bob and Marcia would bring a PA and microphones for bands that didn’t have their own sound system. Bands had to do all of their own advertising. Skelletones had essentially provided the space and opportunity for young bands to play.
At first, this seemed familiar to underground musicians in Grand Rapids. We had played all sorts of places like barns, basement and garage parties, rented halls on the brink of condemnation, financially unstable coffee shops, and uninviting bars. Nobody expected Skelletones to last any longer than those other places. Mirf told me a story about a guy who worked at one of the bigger venues predicting his failure because he wanted Skelletones to be an all ages venue instead of a bar. “You won’t last six months,” said the guy. “Not without a liquor license.”
On top of this, many people knew that Mirf and Annette were Christians. They prayed before opening every day. They played Christian punk and hardcore records on the stereo. Even though they let just about anybody play on the weekends, rumors spread that Skelletones was a Christian venue that only booked Christian bands. I heard people making fun and even expressing their hate for a few years over Skelletones.
But the vision Mirf and Annette had for South Division began to work. Shows got bigger. Bands from all over the country began to stop there on their tours. Businesses began to open in the old, abandoned buildings up and down the block. Still the haters kept talking.
Like Nehemiah, though, Mirf had been gripped by a vision. Even when the city of Grand Rapids made it purposefully difficult for him to open, he kept going because God had given him work to do. And when people within the Skelletones family made mistakes or lost heart, he and his wife challenged them, comforted them, and many times reawakened the vision in them.
Every good story has an antagonist. Nehemiah had a handful. Some of these haters are introduced in verses 9 and 10.
“Then I came to the governors of the provinces beyond the River and gave them the king's letters. Now the king had sent with me officers of the army and horsemen. When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about it, it was very displeasing to them that someone had come to seek the welfare of the sons of Israel.” (Neh. 2:9-10)
Already, Nehemiah saw the benefits of asking God for direction before leaving on his mission. He had asked the king for a letter of authority because of other territorial governors like Sanballat and Tobiah. It’s possible they would have killed Nehemiah had he not presented a letter from the king or found protection with the army escort.
It amazes me how God works in perfect time but we always feel like He’s late. Graham Cooke once said, “God is never late. He just misses a lot of opportunities to be early.” For Nehemiah, it seems that God broke down the steps for him by prompting him to ask for a letter of authority and the right to natural resources. It prepared him for obstacles he may not have foreseen. I sometimes wonder if God prepares people for their own preparations.
As we read on, Nehemiah prepared for the work of his vision very carefully. He stayed in Jerusalem for three days before even inspecting the walls. One night, with only a few men and one riding animal, he walked around the perimeter of the city to take the full range of ruin into account. He had not told the people of his vision at this time, which would explain the undercover walk at night. A few men and one animal wouldn’t make a lot of noise to draw attention.
In those first three days, I believe Nehemiah also had time to survey the ruin of the peoples’ hearts. Why were they held in contempt? Why had they not begun the restoration themselves? The prophet Haggai had once called these people out on their priorities. The people kept saying, “It’s not time to build the temple of the Lord yet.” Instead, they tried to establish their homes and businesses before taking care of God’s house and serving Him. Haggai said, “Now therefore, thus says the LORD of hosts, ‘Consider your ways! You have sown much, but harvest little; you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied; you drink, but there is not enough to become drunk; you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough; and he who earns, earns wages to put into a purse with holes.’ Thus says the LORD of hosts, ‘Consider your ways! Go up to the mountains, bring wood and rebuild the temple, that I may be pleased with it and be glorified,’ says the LORD.” (Haggai 1:5-8)
I think he also wanted to make sure people had time to recognize him as the king’s ruler. That kind of recognition isn’t simply a matter of knowing who’s in charge, either. My punk rock heart often resists trusting an authority based solely on appointment and title. I have to witness qualities of leadership that cause me to trust the person. But don’t worry, people, I still pray for them. I still remember Romans 13:1. My point is that I respond better toward authority I’ve come to trust.
Again, this isn’t an authoritative commentary on the book of Nehemiah. You’re basically reading my inner monologue as I read the book. Maybe the people were so downtrodden that they’d accept authority from anyone bearing the king’s seal. Maybe. But look at the reaction they gave Nehemiah when he told them of his plan in verses 17-18.
“Then I said to them, ‘You see the bad situation we are in, that Jerusalem is desolate and its gates burned by fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem so that we will no longer be a reproach.’ I told them how the hand of my God had been favorable to me and also about the king’s words which he had spoken to me. Then they said, ‘Let us arise and build.’ So they put their hands to the good work.”
Nehemiah had made sure to know the full extent of the situation and offer assurance of the king’s pleasure in the work. He spoke to the heart of their condition, addressing the gates and walls “so that we will no longer be a reproach”. I love how he cut short this part of the address. Surely, after weeping over this situation for so many days, he must have had so much to tell the people of Jerusalem. Instead, he says, “you see it already”. It’s two sentences to describe what they need to do in order to become the city God intended. He cut to the chase. It’s “Banned In D.C.” vs. “Sister Ray”. One says it all before you realized anyone said anything. The other goes on and on until you beg for the end of the record.
“Banned In D.C.” has another application here. The surrounding rulers were pissed when they saw that Jerusalem began to rebuild. At first, the rulers tried using ridicule laced with threats to shame the workers.
When Skelletones opened, a large anti-Christian music sentiment began to creep into the music scene along with the rumors that Mirf would only book Christian bands. Some other coffee shop owners mocked Skelletones for its punk image and Christian ties. I remember one flyer where a coffee shop (that had the permit for smoking indoors) took a picture of Jesus carrying the cross and dubbed a cigarette into his fingers. The caption read, “Sometimes, you just need a smoke.” The city of Grand Rapids halted the restoration of the building housing Skelletones because of a supposed violation of code. The back door had to open at least eighteen inches wide. The inspector claimed that the last stair in the atrium stairwell prevented the door from opening all the way. This stalemate went on for weeks until Mirf measured the distance for himself. Eighteen inches. The work began again the next day.
I respect the hell out of Mirf. You might hear me say his name an annoying amount of times. He loved people and still knew how to stand up for himself and others.
Nehemiah’s response to the ridicule and threats was no less direct. Verse 20 says, “So I answered them and said to them, ‘The God of heaven will give us success; therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no portion, right or memorial in Jerusalem.’”
Nobody actually waged war here, but clear battle lines had been drawn. Although I believe the Church should show compassion, extending love and grace, I also wish it had Nehemiah’s spirit. When opposition comes, claim God’s promises and stand in the face of opposition. And I’m not talking in terms of political platform. The “Good Work” set before us is to spread the gospel and build the Kingdom of God. So many things try to shame us from this work, to threaten us. I think Christians throughout history into the present day have listened to those rulers in their own lives, bringing the work to a grinding halt.
So listen up! You see the condition we are in. God’s favor is on His servants. He will glorify Himself and has commissioned His church to do this good work on earth. But enthusiasm isn’t enough for adventure. It’s the thing that encourages people to begin.
This is the beginning of Nehemiah’s adventure.
Nehemiah Part One - When I heard these words, I sat down and wept
I first heard punk music when I was twelve years old. A local college radio station played interesting music that my brothers didn’t own, and I felt compelled to explore this side of music previously hidden from me. My parents home schooled me at the time, which meant that I could finish all of my work in about an hour and go through the rest of the day learning how to play the guitar. So I sat listening to this radio station for hours with a blank cassette paused and ready to record should some amazing song come on the airwaves. I’d record the song, missing the first few notes, and then teach myself how to play the basic chords on my dad’s guitar.
One day, I had the radio on while solving some number puzzles for math class when “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones ruined my concentration. I put the puzzle book down and let my jaw hang slack. I waited for a guitar solo that wouldn’t come. Surely music like this had to have been new, I thought. Even grunge bands had solos. And then it was over before I knew what had happened. Only my quickened heart-rate and a sense of mania remained.
That’s when I realized that I hadn’t taped the song. When the radio station announced the phone number to their request line, I called them every half hour asking for “I Wanna Be Sedated”. Some of the women deejays would be nice to me and give me hope for my request in the coming hour. The dudes would either make fun of me or tell me to stop calling. One even said they didn’t play “classic rock”, which utterly confused me. Classic? Just how old was this music? Anyway, I never heard Ramones on broadcast radio again.
Thankfully, I knew a kid down the road from me who had been to the Van’s Warped Tour and owned lots of punk records. He made me a tape of his favorite bands, like NOFX and Less Than Jake. I ate this stuff up.
Then I started reading articles and books on the history of punk music and punk bands. They typically glorified individuals uniting together to make their own culture. They did everything themselves. They made their own music, artwork, films, and books. Their society felt like a community, one where the skuzzy, weird, and otherwise unloved found acceptance. I ached to belong to something like that.
Eventually, I found that many of the lyrics in punk music contained serious philosophy. Bad Religion might have perfectly explained the despair of existentialism in “Stranger Than Fiction”. “Life is the crummiest book I’ve ever read. There isn’t a hook. Just a lot of cheap shots, pictures that shock, and characters an amateur would never dream up.” I didn’t agree with everything these bands said, but I appreciated music that made me seriously consider how I viewed the world.
The punk kids I met over the next three or four years made me wonder if it were indeed possible to live out those ideals that I had read in punk history. They had cliques and gangs, obligations and grudges, just like everybody else. The only difference between the kids I dealt with when I listened to the Who and Led Zeppelin in elementary school and the punk kids I hung out with in high school was hygiene and fashion.
My friends and I used to sniff at the older punks who were burned out and drank too much. If you don’t believe in it, I said, why do you still call yourself punk? But our generation was riding on the high of discovering something new. We had the folly of youth carrying us through the problems we faced. But we ran into the same problems as our drunken, leathery predecessors. We had never defined the “it” that punks were supposed to believe in.
In the book American Hardcore, Jello Biafra explained a facet of the flaw. He said that people within this supposedly egalitarian movement had a strong sense of “us against them”. The problem was that nobody defined “us” or “them”, so the terms could be used arbitrarily to describe people who agreed or disagreed with you individually. You and your friends were “us”, anybody you disliked was one of “them”. Listening to the song “My War” by Black Flag probably best communicates this despair. In the song, vocalist Henry Rollins is a man panicking at the betrayal of people within the movement. “My war! You’re one of them. You said that you’re my friend. But you’re one of them!”
Entropy, like a conqueror worm, broke down something I thought was beautiful. In time, I gave up on the punk ideals while keeping the attitude. Eventually, I became that dude in his twenties, pessimistic, and drinking too much. I became one of “them”. When younger punk kids scorned me, I really couldn’t argue with them. It broke my heart to think that they would be in my place within five years. Punk began as a vital movement of expression and then splintered into a growing list of impotent subcultures.
Worse yet, I saw instances where one group of kids would have a grudge against another group. Both sides would be at the same show where the band one group supported was opening for a band the other group supported. These two sets of kids would stand on opposite sides of the room sizing each other up and everyone could feel the tension. I couldn’t even have fun at these shows because I was too busy making sure I wouldn’t get caught in the middle of whatever trouble they started. When trouble did start, the bands would typically stop the show and plead with these people from stage to cool it. Any of my friends who weren’t a part of the scene would see stuff like this happening and totally disregard punk in general. I couldn’t blame them for their contempt. From their perspective, it was a bunch of angry, dirty kids taking swings at each other to the sounds of angry, dirty music. All of the talk of unity and celebration of individuality rang false and hypocritical.
I often faced this problem of definition because I had never adopted the punk fashion. Many new friends were surprised to learn that I played in punk bands for the better part of a decade and still listen to the music. In fact, it’s my favorite kind of music. If I were banished to the furthest parts of the nether-regions with my ten-dollar portable cassette player and only allowed to listen to one genre of music – punk, no question. But as an idealistic movement, I’ve given up on it. As far as I can tell, there’s no hope for a universally accepted punk ideal because of that lack of definition. At best, we might agree with D. Boon of the Minutemen in saying, “Punk is what you want it to be,” and leave it at that.
It’s hard for me to think about the history of punk without drawing parallels to the Christian Church. Of course they have their differences, and I certainly regard my faith with much more seriousness than my favorite style of music. But think of this, Christianity began as a vital movement that swept the known world. It changed the course of Western history.
Then it became politicized when Emperor Constantine adopted Christianity as the official Roman religion. As a major political force, the church had the power to introduce the truth of Scripture as a basis for living. Instead, the new power led to corruption, uncompassionate accumulation and use of wealth, and a host of other problems. To make matters worse, the Church forbade the translation of Scripture into common, everyday language. Keeping the Bible written in Latin meant that only the well-educated could read the Word of God. This put the common man at the mercy of the clergy, who could interpret and teach the Bible in ways that secured their jobs and fill their coffers.
All that to say that some splits were probably necessary. The Reformation needed to happen. It reestablished Christ as the head of the church instead of “infallible” popes. The common man could read the Bible to understand justification by faith alone instead of paying indulgences and receiving certificates for salvation.
Even so, nobody defined “us” and “them” effectively at the time of the Reformation. So you have men like Martin Luther, who never intended to split from the Catholic Church, but his ideas inspired revolts against the religious/political system. There were seemingly endless wars fought over things like baptism and communion. The church and state were still considered one and the same. A challenge to the doctrine of a particular region was no mere theological difference of opinion. It was a challenge to political authority. That’s probably why John Calvin was so careful in writing his Institutes to make sure the king of France understood him perfectly. One slip of the pen, so to speak, meant writing his own death sentence. But then even Calvin, as the uncontested leader of Geneva, wasn’t afraid to punish people for theologically disagreeing with him.
When the church formed, it was meant to bear witness to the power, reality, and salvation of God through Jesus. Two millennia later, literally hundreds, if not more, denominations stand as a testimony of bitterness and infighting in the body of Christ. Is it any wonder that people outside (and with the advent of the Emergent Church, many within) the church regard the teachings of the church as false and hypocritical?
I’m going to spend some time relating the church as I see it in the present age with the condition of God’s people in the book of Nehemiah.
The book is written from Nehemiah’s perspective. It opens with him living in Persia as the King’s personal attendant, or cupbearer. A butler, pretty much. One day, his brother Hanani comes to Persia with some other Judeans. Nehemiah asks about the Jews living in Jerusalem. Hanani responds, “The remnant there in the province who survived the captivity are in great distress and reproach, and the wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates are burned with fire.” (Neh. 1:3).
Nehemiah says, “When I heard these words, I sat down and mourned and wept for several days.”
Whenever I read this passage in the past, I assumed that he had either overreacted to the situation (considering he already lived in exile and Jerusalem had long-since fallen to Nebuchadnezzar), he mourned out of nostalgia for the glory days of Jerusalem, or something else was implied in the text that I didn’t understand.
Many Bible teachers place a great emphasis on the walls of Jerusalem when they teach the book of Nehemiah. It makes sense for them to do so because much of the story deals with their miraculous reconstruction. As I read the book now, I see the walls as only one facet of Nehemiah’s anguish. First of all, the people were held in contempt and greatly distressed. These were God’s people, called by His name, bearing the promise to Abraham that his children would bless the nations. Second, the walls of a city symbolized its power. We can see this in all that talk of Jericho’s walls in the book of Joshua. Hanani’s news communicated Jerusalem’s powerlessness, its impotence. Third, the city gates were burned. I went to Israel in 2000 and learned about city gates at the ruins of Dan. The gates of a city were the center of civil government. Judicial matters were often settled there. That’s where the money exchange took place. The gates symbolized the authority of a city, and Jerusalem’s authority had been burned to nothing.
When I thought about the magnitude of this statement in light of these three points, I felt Nehemiah’s sadness for the church. The book “unChristian: What a new generation really thinks of Christianity… and why it matters” by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons presents what people outside of the church think of Christianity. It’s a saddening read. If any of you ever felt like asking Nehemiah’s question for the church today, Kinnaman and Lyons have given Hanani’s answer.
The purpose of the church was to bear witness to God’s existence, love, and the finished work of Jesus. It’s supposed to be a testimony. When Jesus asked His disciples in Matthew 16 “Who do people say that I am?” the disciples gave a few varied responses. “Well some people say you’re Elijah, others say Jeremiah, or one of the prophets.” Then Jesus asks, “Who do you say that I am?” Peter responds, “You are the Christ, the son of the living God.” After hearing this, Jesus prophesies over Peter in verses 17 and 18. “And Jesus said to him, ‘Blessed are you, Simon Bar-jonah, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. I also say to you that you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build My church; and the gates of Hades will not overpower it.’” Some people have taken this passage to show Jesus giving Peter authority as head of the church. As I see it, Jesus may have meant something else. God revealed Jesus as His son to Peter, and Peter proclaimed it. It was this that would build the church in sinful world. 2 Corinthians 5:20 says, “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”
But according to Kinnaman and Lyons’ study, it could be said that society holds the church in contempt. When people outside of Christianity think of the church, they speak of the rules and doctrine and dogma. Homosexuality, alcoholism, “secular” media, etc. People who have no understanding of Christ can repeat what they’ve heard preachers on television say about these things, yet they still have no knowledge of Jesus. I don’t have to go too far to hear if people regard Christians as hypocritical, greedy, or delusional. It’s not a universal sentiment, I understand. Those same critics of Christianity often are quick to say, “but I don’t think you’re like that.” They may say that to avoid hurting my feelings, I don’t know. My point is that contempt for the church is a prevalent attitude in our culture and to ignore it would be the same as sitting among piles of burned rubble, powerless and in distress. To accept our current condition would mean giving up on God’s intentions for the church bearing witness to Jesus and overcoming the gates of Hell.
If you look around and see that this is the case, then it would makes sense that many churches have given themselves over to a certain sense of powerlessness. Now that isn’t to say that people are not coming to Jesus or that the Holy Spirit is not at work in the world today. There are movements within the worldwide church that have brought and continue to bring the gospel to life. But for every good example of a Church operating in the power of God, there are a dozen others that prefer to think of God’s power abstractly and limited to matters of belief. Or they believe the Holy Spirit’s work was limited to acts of salvation after the Apostles died. Or whatever. All I’m trying to say is that I’ve walked into a lot of powerless churches in my young life, and by “powerless” I mean they don’t recognize and operate in the authority they have in Jesus.
People in the church need to remember that “belief’ and “faith” are not the same thing. Belief for the Christian means they mentally agree with the statement, “The Bible is true.” Faith means that we actually live our lives by that truth to which we have ascribed our thinking. Faith means taking steps according to belief. It’s an active decision to live not just according to the teaching and promises of the Bible. If you believe the whole Bible is true, then the whole Bible is true for you in real life.
I don’t claim that unless you live perfectly according to the Bible every day, then you are without faith. Faith is a gift from God, and it’s a gift that should grow as we learn more about Him. But think of this. The Bible says in Christ we are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17). That means we can no longer do things the way we’ve always done them. We need God to show us how to do things His way. And when He does show us, we have a responsibility to act in that new way. Otherwise your “faith without works are dead” (James 2:14-26). Belief is a start, faith is a continuation.
The Bible also teaches us that we’re given power through the Holy Spirit to minister to people. Jesus gave his disciples this authority in Matthew 10 and Acts 1. Have you considered the things he told those uneducated kids to do? Heal the sick? Cast out demons? Raise the dead? And nowhere in the Bible have I found a passage that says Jesus took this gift away from those that put their faith in Him. Yes, in 1 Corinthians, it says that the imperfect passes when the perfect comes, but I don’t think I’ll see evidence of said perfection until Jesus comes again.
Well if this is true, then why aren’t more churches operating in the truth taught in the Bible they say they believe? Surely their evangelism and ministry would explode if they were to experience the things Jesus promised when He gave His disciples authority and power. They go hand in hand like city gates to city walls. One does no good without the other. Sadly, many churches experience neither.
Nehemiah’s prayer
I think it is important to point out what Nehemiah did in response to Hanani’s news of Jerusalem. The remainder of the first chapter, verses 5-11, is Nehemiah’s prayer.
“I beseech You, O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who preserves the covenant and lovingkindness for those who love Him and keep His commandments, let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants, confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have sinned against You; I and my father’s house have sinned. We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses. Remember the word which You commanded Your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful I will scatter you among the peoples; but if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though those of you who have been scattered were in the most remote part of the heavens, I will gather them from there and will bring them to the place where I have chosen to cause My name to dwell.’ They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. O Lord, I beseech You, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and make Your servant successful today and grant him compassion before this man.”
Now let’s take a look at this prayer. Although Babylon had scattered Israel and destroyed the city of Jerusalem, God had ultimately set this into motion. Nehemiah recognized the situation as the natural result of Israel’s sins. Right away, he begins his prayer by recognizing God as the great and awesome God of heaven. Nehemiah also admits that God promised to preserve His people if they would love Him and observe His commands (Deut. 30). So he fasted and prayed, confessing the sins of Israel and asking for God’s forgiveness.
Although Israel’s condition did come as a result of His law, it wasn’t God’s fault. God is never the one on the defensive and we are not His judge. We answer to Him because He is the ultimate and absolute. He’s complete in Himself and perfect. If there’s anything wrong in the world, we are the ones who need to be held into account.
Moses said of God “The Rock! His work is perfect, for all His ways are just; a God of faithfulness and without injustice, righteous and upright is He.” (Deut. 32:4) And in the next verse, he goes on to say, “They have acted corruptly toward Him.” Throughout Israel’s history, they continuously reject God’s commands and “act corruptly”. Since they had broken these commands throughout generations, God had to inflict the punishment He promised in (Deut. 30:17-18) in order to uphold His justice.
And yet, this command God gave to Moses had a condition attached at the end. “But if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though those of you who have been scattered were in the most remote part of the heavens, I will gather them from there and will bring them to the place where I have chosen to cause My name to dwell.” (Neh. 1:9) Knowing the covenant gives Nehemiah hope and it encourages him to pray.
But the part of this prayer that surprised me most was Nehemiah’s personal confession. He repented not only of his fathers’ sins, but also his own! Over a hundred years had passed since Nebuchadnezzar took Jerusalem and sent its inhabitants into exile. How could Nehemiah’s sins possibly have caused Jerusalem’s exile and disrepair?
In Genesis 17:9, God has made His covenant with Abraham and says, “Now as for you, you shall keep My covenant, you and your descendants after you throughout their generations.” And again, when God gave Moses the ten commandments, He says in Exodus 20:5-6, “For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.” Nehemiah’s demonstration of his knowledge of God’s covenant with Israel leads me to believe that he was probably aware of these verses. The covenant to obey God wasn’t merely the responsibility of those who came before. It was also visited upon the generations to come. Thus, he felt responsible to repent on behalf of his ancestors for their sins.
But then, why did he repent for himself? The verse in Genesis implies that the generations following Abraham had a responsibility to keep God’s covenant. God had told Moses that He would show lovingkindness to those who love Him and keep His commandments. God had promised in Deuteronomy to restore them if they would turn and obey Him. If the Jews were still living in a broken Jerusalem, held in contempt, powerless, without authority, the current generation had probably not repented on their own behalf and changed their ways.
Some might think that Nehemiah stepped into a role of leadership when Artaxerxes, King of Persia, gave him authority as governor of Judah. I say he became a leader during this prayer. He couldn’t take repent for every individual person living or dead who had broken God’s commands, but he knew of his shortcomings and started there. The exile and destruction of Jerusalem happened because of other peoples’ sin. Some people might have looked at the situation and said, “Well, they screwed up. I guess we may as well learn to live with the world they gave us.” The Jews living in the rubble of Jerusalem may have said just that among themselves. Nehemiah looked at the situation and knew that as a lawbreaker himself, his actions directly affected the whole people under God’s covenant.
When he took this responsibility, he showed a characteristic of true leadership. For him, the problem was surely defined. The people had sinned. He had sinned. God promised punishment for sin, but also spoke of future restoration should the people repent.
At the end of the prayer, Nehemiah asks for God’s favor before he approaches the King with his dilemma. As my friend John might say, God had gripped him with a vision. It would require Nehemiah to take risks and display boldness as well as personal brokenness.
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